10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace: Fifth Secret
February 26, 2010 by dr. lam
Fifth Secret: “Give Up Your Personal History”
Dyer uses the metaphor of a boat to explain how we unfortunately see our lives and how we should see our lives. Every boat has a wake behind it. However, the wake does not control the boat. It is just a trail of foam that has no bearing on the direction the boat is taking. However, our “wake”, i.e., our past, is oftentimes something that we use to define who we are today. “Well, I had a troubled childhood.” “My parents divorced so of course I am having difficulty today.” “My husband left me for another woman. That explains where I am now.” “I never finished college so, of course, I cannot succeed today.” Our wake should not control our boat. It can’t.
We too often look at the labels that we impose upon ourselves to define who and what we can be. Whatever limitations our past imposes on us we allow them to flourish so that we are stifled and cannot be a product of our limitless, current selves. We are not our wake. We are the boat. All we have is the present time, as Eckhart Tolle admonishes in The Power of Now. We are only where we are now.
The opposite can also be true of our past. “Well, it was certainly a happier time for me then. I long for the good ol’ days.” “I was happy then. Today not so much.” We cannot and should not be our past. When we live in our past, we are a product of a deathly present. We must see the glory of right now, this moment, the very breath that we take, the shining time of now of where we are today, that’s it. Dyer says when we are eating our appetizer, we should not be thinking of dessert. When we are eating dessert, we should not be thinking of what we just ate. We are too often all over the place because our minds are not still but hurried and preoccupied. Be here now and relinquish your past, all of it.
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5 Responses to “10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace: Fifth Secret”
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Okay, I really like this blog and the point and everything, great message!!! Totally!
Though, I look at my life and time in general, as a spectrum and not just the past being separate from the now and the future, so relinquishing the past, all of it, doesn’t fit my perspective. In my perspective, life’s a journey and not so much of an existence in an exact point of time reference. Just my thoughts if I’m making any sense…lol Of course, I think using the past to disable one from moving on in life is not a good perspective to have or glorifying the past, but I think the past can be a very important component to the present moment that someone is experiencing; it can enrich it. If it doesn’t enrich it, well then, someone needs to forget that aspect of the past or deal with it and make it positive, but there is something special about having been through something with let’s say, friends or siblings, etc, and recapturing those special times together, or just having shared those special times with, adds enormous amounts of quality to the present moment in my opinion. It goes for anything really…knowing the history behind something can give an object or place, etc, more “value” as far as the experience someone has in the moment of experiencing it. I hope I’m making sense…lol If not, forgive me, Dr. Lam; I’m blonde so give me some slack; I’m in my own world…lol
I also think having a passion about the future and dreaming about it is important in life as it enriches the present moment in the future. Let’s say, someone that has always dreamed of winning an Olympic medal will probably reflect on that dream and it will enrich the moment that person is receiving a medal, if that person is…but s/he is reflecting on the past and the now and not just the present. Here’s an example: In my old age, I want to hold hands with my dream guy, both of us reflecting on and knowing that words cannot describe our love that has grown over the years because of our journey together in life, having spent quality moments in life together…I think that would make a great moment in the now at that time, which one could call a dream/future…but it involves reflecting on the “past”… Past, present, and future are all connected in my mind and cannot be separated or discarded. In my mind..lol Oh, sorry guys, I know that was deathly romantic sounding…lol…sorry! I was just trying to use an example. I suppose not dealing with a negative issue in the past can penetrate to the now and future just as a positive would but be damaging and we all want to steer clear of that, of course. Just my thoughts…
Happy weekend everyone!!
thanks heather. i have a blog series coming up in probably may or june that deals with our altered sense of the future and past from the book Stumbling on Happiness. i think you will enjoy it!
Sorry, I always write crazy stuff when I’m tired…lol I should know that by now…lol Whatever..
Look forward to the coming blogs, Dr. Lam!!!
no problem. enjoy the comments!
Dr. Lam, you are just too nice! lol Seriously!