10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace: Seventh Secret
March 3, 2010 by dr. lam
Seventh Secret: “There are No Justified Resentments”
Dyer opens this chapter with a story of how he sat in on an Alcoholics Anonymous group and heard one person blaming someone else for his or her woes. But a sign reminded the individual that In This Group, There are No Justified Resentments. At our lowest consciousness, we blame everyone around us for everything because it certainly could not be our fault. We look toward others and see that they are the ones that caused all of our current problems. In fact, our society supports this blame-oriented thinking. It is certainly the lowest level of consciousness.
“But, of course, I am justified to think a certain way. Don’t you understand the way that I have been treated?” Dyer relates a story of a person who always turned the other cheek in the face of great, apparent adversity and harsh criticisms. Someone asked him, “How can you do what you do?” The individual replied, “Quite easily, if someone offers you a gift, and you do not accept that gift, to whom does that gift belong?” If you do not accept the invective, who does it belong to? Dyer cites the humorous but truthful expression, “Your opinion of me is none of my business.”
After we let go of blame, the next level of consciousness is to offer in return to all: peace, love, forgiveness, and compassion no matter what. That is a much more profound level of consciousness that we all can aspire to attain. The first step however is letting go of blame. If we cannot even do that, then we cannot move onward and upward to returning beauty to all in any situation.
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I agree that our society sort of supports the blame-oriented thinking. I don’t necessarily think that we need to blame ourselves even, though. I think that we tend to have to blame someone or something or think that we should blame ourselves, but we should more look at things that happen to us in life or problems and situations that we face as trials in our life. Not set program ourselves to the perspective of having to blame anything, but realize that it is a situation. Just my thoughts.. Maybe we were a “victim” or maybe we could say it was our fault, but either way, what really matters is that once we come to the realization that it is in our power to change something instead of blaming, we are able to make changes and move on. Just my take…lol Oh, man, I hope this doesn’t count as rambling!
Hey, that story sounds very familiar.
Dr. Lam, I like how you have broadened on this concept. Great!!!
thanks heather!!!