Psycho-Cybernetics Part 12 of 30: Happiness is a Habit
May 22, 2009 by dr. lam · 2 Comments
If we can achieve a profound level of happiness, we can then let go of the cloud of anxiety, fear, and other thoughts that plague our mind. At that point, we can allow our unconscious to move us forward in a positive direction. When we are unhappy, we are constantly pervaded by negativity, judgment (of self and of others), and poverty/scarcity. When we are happy, we can live with great joy and open the chance for success and to fulfill our goals.
How do we achieve happiness? The first thing we need to do is see happiness as a habit not as a future earning. Many of us live life as a deferred payment plan. We will be happy when we are in the right relationship, perfect marriage, obtain the perfect job, get better grades, have a thinner waistline, etc. Whatever we then achieve, we will then be daunted by another problem to distract us. Only by practicing happiness as a present emotion/condition, can we be truly happy individuals.
Happiness should not be viewed as selfishness. We have talked about this before when we discussed the Art of Happiness a few months ago. When we are happy, we radiate that joy to others. When we are sad and miserable, we remain in a completely selfish state that will hurt ourselves and directly/indirectly hurt others. We need to remove any moral appendages to happiness as a right, a virtue, as a merit. It simply is. We all should live in unmitigated happiness and when we do we can establish the underlying foundation and premise for our unconscious mind to flourish and for us to exercise a great degree of liberation in the practice of Psycho-Cybernetics.
Psycho-Cybernetics Part 11 of 30: Don’t Worry After the Bet is Placed
May 21, 2009 by dr. lam · 7 Comments
Maltz observed that when gamblers played roulette they would haphazardly put their bets down but once the wheel started to turn a look of anxiety and consternation would prevail. His gambler friend advised: ”Do your worrying before you place your bet, not after the wheel starts turning.” Sage advice. Oftentimes we make a decision then start to second guess it rather than support it. We worry constantly, “Did I make the right decision? What will now happen?” Instead, we should consciously support that decision and allow it to go forward to fruition.
Kennedy, Maltz’s protégé and editor for the current edition of Psycho-Cybernetics entitled The New Psycho-Cybernetics, uses Al Gore’s famous line (whatever your political persuasion is, this reference is not meant to be political) of a “lock box”. He argues that once we have made a decision that we should put the fear and anxiety away in a lock box, i.e., to lock it away. We should think before we make a decision whether it is a good one but once it is made to let that decision go.
In his lectures to business leaders, Maltz quotes a few cogent remarks from his attendees:
“Dr. Maltz, the truth is that there are few inherently right decisions or wrong decisions. Instead, we make decisions, then make them right. That’s what leadership is all about.”
“You can always correct a poor decision, but if you do nothing, you can never get the time back.”
We will explore these ideas more in depth in coming blogs. You might want to reread some of these blogs at the conclusion of reading all of them because you will probably see more synthetically how everything fits together. Right now you are only getting pieces of a larger jigsaw puzzle.
Maltz contends that to allow our Creative Mechanism to flourish we need to live in the present moment (sound familiar?- Power of Now). If we constantly worry about a decision we made in the past or that we will have to make, we do not allow our unconscious mind to take action. Instead we cloud it. Obviously, at times we need to think and think hard of a decision but once it is made to let it go. We should practice the art of decisiveness and letting go…at a restaurant, at the shopping mall, wherever.
Psycho-Cybernetics Part 10 of 30: Moving Away from Conscious Will
May 20, 2009 by dr. lam · 7 Comments
Maltz tries to get us to let go of forceful action and forceful will. Of course, all things begin in the conscious mind but once we have the right target in our mind, we should relax and let our automatic servo-mechanism (unconscious) guide us forward to success. The reason that many people in social situations are awkward is that they try too hard to behave in a certain prescribed and conforming way. They must think consciously of every action. There is a level of fatigue and unnaturalness with this behavior. If we are constantly a product of our conscious will, we will awkwardly grope forward in painstaking steps. When our unconscious mind reigns, we can have unlimited potential based on its power.
He talks about when Napoleon Hill wrote his seminal classic, Think and Grow Rich (a great book if you haven’t read it by the way), was under a 24 hour deadline to come up with a title he was panicked. His publisher suggested the title Use Your Noodle to Get the Boodle, which Hill rightly balked at for its sensational tabloid appeal. He fell asleep and woke up with his title, Think and Grow Rich, simply by letting his unconscious do the thinking. In actuality, Think and Grow Rich is pretty much a translation of the publisher’s title think for noodle and rich for boodle.
Maltz talks about the sequence of mastery of almost any action from 1. unconscious incompetence, 2. conscious incompetence, 3. conscious competence, to 4. unconscious competence. We move from first not knowing that we are incompetent to then painfully knowing how incompetent we are. We then progress to becoming competent but needing to make every action and step at a very conscious level to finally being competent without even trying. The goal in Psycho-Cybernetics is to move us fully into the final stage in which we do not need to forcibly move our will forward but allowing an automatic mechanism to guide us forward, which is much more powerful and has unlimited potential. Tomorrow we will discuss ways to do this more explicitly.
Psycho-Cybernetics Part 9 of 30: Disney and Desire
May 19, 2009 by dr. lam · 5 Comments
When Walt Disney was seeking investors for his famed theme park, Disneyland, he was confronted with jeers and laughter about his fantastical, non-sensical idea. This pushed Disney to prove all his detractors wrong and to fulfill his life-long dream of opening and succeeding with his vision. The rest as they say is history.
Last week, we talked about how we should reprogram our unconscious servo-mechanism with an Automatic Success Mechanism. How do we do that? The answer is with deep desire. Desire motivates our thoughts. When we feel that we deeply want something bad enough, we overcome insurmountable odds. We overcome negative thinking, and we replace our Automatic Failure Mechanism with our Automatic Success Mechanism. We don’t take no for an answer.
Specifically then, how do we reprogram these negative thoughts? We focus on the end result. Of course, we have to have a desired end goal of what we want so that we can keep our eyes on the prize. Too often we are still plagued with the notions of what we don’t want. Instead, we should focus on what we do want…where our desires lead us. Starting with a deep desire for what we want to attain will create a powerful reprogramming of our unconscious mind. Remember that it is not force of will that Maltz talks about, i.e., it is not our conscious mind forcing us begrudgingly and exhaustingly forward. It is our conscious mind that sets our much more powerful unconscious mind into motion to lead us forward to success. Visualizing what we want every day can generate us to move forward in ways that we could not otherwise imagine.
Also remember that we talked about how our Creative Mechanism was the dividing element between us and the animals, i.e., how we enlist our imagination. Our imagination oftentimes is an unconscious attribute that is set in motion by our conscious mind. As a creative person myself, I open myself to inspiration and thoughts about everything. I move with a conscious desire toward my goals and my unconscious mind oftentimes gives me the answer that I was looking for.
As an example of this, in December 2006, I was interested in getting my name more broadly disseminated out to the world so I began to upload numerous videos that I felt passionately about on YouTube (currently I have 573 videos on the site with over 1.9 million views), at the time a nascent site that certainly was not used for promoting a plastic surgical practice. My mother and sister were both laughing at me at how I was wasting my time doing something so stupid. I was completely passionate that such a move might benefit my practice but just followed my heart and soul. Today YouTube accounts for the principle method by which I have a practice now that garners between 50 to 80% of my patients who have flown in from over 500 cities, 47 states, and from 18 countries for my services. Follow your heart and intuition against all odds.
Monday Meditations Part 4: Walking Meditation
May 18, 2009 by dr. lam · 5 Comments
Many of us Type A/high-strung individuals cannot meditate sitting still. Our bodies become agitated and our minds begin to wander easily. We need movement and stimulation to keep us centered. This exercise allows our bodies to flow so that our mind can remain centered. We permit our mind to focus on the activity of walking so that we have a grounding and a focus for our thoughts.
Start with either bare feet or stockinged/socked feet so that you can feel the ground under you. Plan a path where you will be walking either in nature or indoors. Even if the path is relatively short, you can traverse this distance and redouble on your tracks without a problem. Just plan your path out in advance so that you don’t need to worry about where you will be going.
As you begin the exercise, remember to start with the fundamental of your breath. Focus on the rhythm of your breathing and allowing yourself to breathe more quickly or more slowly depending on your body’s needs. As you breathe, enjoy the rich breath that is giving you nourishment and life. Then start to focus on your legs and toes as you walk over the terrain and enjoy the feeling of the ground under your feet and the related sensations. As you walk, enjoy the feeling of walking. If your mind wanders, bring it back to the focus of walking and the feeling of the air against your face if you are outside and the sounds around you or if you are inside just stay centered on your breathing and walking. As you conclude the exercise, return your thoughts back to your breathing and finish with your breath meditation.
Here is a video guide to help you with this meditation. Namaste.