The Art of Possibility 4 of 15: Rule #6
January 22, 2010 by dr. lam · 1 Comment
Zander recounted a story that I had heard before but had forgotten about. I have also repeated this story about 50 times since I heard it. A visiting prime minister to a foreign land met the local prime minister at the state house for dinner.
Shortly after the visiting prime minister arrived, a man runs into the scene, screaming, “I have burned the dinner for tonight! What should we do?” The local prime minister turns to the man and declares, “Remember rule #6.” The man quiets down, dutifully bows, turns around and exits the room calmly.
Ten minutes later a woman runs into the room, screaming, “I have lost the documents! What should we do?” The local prime minister turns to the woman and declares, “Remember rule #6.” The woman quiets down, dutifully bows, turns around and exits the room calmly.
Fifteen minutes later another woman enters the chambers, screaming, “I have ruined the garden! What should we do?” The local prime minister turns to the woman and declares, “Remember rule #6.” The woman quiets down, dutifully bows, turns around and exits the room calmly.
At this point, the visiting prime minister turns quizzically to the local prime minister and asks, “Ok, I have now observed three people come into this room frantic and dismayed only to exit the room with utmost calm when you remind them of rule #6. What is rule #6, I have to ask?”
The local prime minister explains, “Rule #6 is not to take yourself so damn seriously.” The visiting prime minister then inquires, “What are the first 5 rules?” The local prime minister retorts, “There are no other rules.”
The Art of Possibility 3 of 15: One-Buttock Playing
January 21, 2010 by dr. lam · 4 Comments
Zander recounts a young man who came to him from another orchestra and who was plagued by numerous physical ailments, including muscle aches, tendinitis, back pain, and bronchitis. When Zander heard the man play, he saw tremendous timidity and restraint in his playing.
Zander explains that most musicians are dreadfully afraid of making a single mistake that could cost one one’s entire musical career. Musicians live in trepidation and under the austere suppression of the conductor, the last bastion of totalitarianism left, as Zander wittily concedes.
Zander asked the young man to play with verve, with passion, and with compassion and not to fret over making a technical error. The man played with tremendous zeal, and the music came alive. Zander noted that when the man was playing, he would lift one buttock off the chair. He needed to because he was so moved by the music he was creating.
He then asks, “How many of us are two-buttock or one-buttock players?” When we stop worrying about our performance, we can start living and breathing with passion, which makes all the difference. (More about that tomorrow.) Interestingly, when the man joined the Boston Philharmonic he no longer had back pain, tendinitis or any other physical problems. They just disappeared but what appeared was his music. Let’s all be one-buttock players.
The Art of Possibility 2 of 15: Giving an A
January 20, 2010 by dr. lam · 4 Comments
Here I am at the Ben Zander event (he is right next to me) singing happy birthday to someone we all did not know, Connie, with passion and love!
How often do we see the limits in the person in front of us? That person is no good because… I would rate his performance a C-…
Zander conducts his musical class in Boston entirely differently. He gives everyone an A from the moment the class begins. All he asks of his students who enroll in his class to get the A is for each of them to write a letter in the first two weeks of class dated at the end of May of the following year that begins, “Dear Mr. Zander, I got my A because…”
He does not ask for the student to extol his or her musical accomplishments (although that is allowed). He wants to hear how the student has developed as a person over the year and who that student has become over the year, writing the letter despite the future date in the past tense. He wants the student to fall passionately in love with who he or she has become as a person.
We need to give another person an A in life. He explains that the reason for the Arab-Israeli conflict is that the Arabs have failed the Israelis and the Israelis have equally given a failing grade to the Arabs. As leaders (and we are all leaders in our own ways), we need to see what is possible in the other person. His wife, Rosamund, says that all leadership entails is being “a relentless architect for the possibility of what others can achieve.” I think that is beautiful, and it is something that I have repeated to myself and aloud to my staff several times a week. Let’s all give someone else an A, and let’s be a “a relentless architect for the possibility of what others can achieve.”
The Art of Possibility 1 of 15: The Story of African Shoes
January 19, 2010 by dr. lam · 5 Comments
Listening to Ben Zander is a rare treat and an entry into the sublime. I was fortunate enough to hear this master orator present in front of an audience of 250 people at the Dallas Museum of Art last November, and I am still spellbound by his unbridled enthusiasm, unchained passion, and unrelenting energy. He is simply put the best speaker that I have listened to in my life, and that is no small feat, as I have heard many speakers before.
Ben Zander, a spry and spritely septuagenarian, has been the conductor for the Boston Philharmonic since 1978, and teaches music at the Boston Conservatory. Classical music is his passion, but how he translates that passion into the world of leadership and personal development is mesmerizing.
It is with great pleasure that I embark on this blog series of topics that I have learned from his talk that night and reinforced by reading his book and listening to his audiobook, The Art of Possibility, that he composed with is dear wife, Rosamund Stone Zander.
I shall begin, as he began that night with a tale of opportunity. In the 1940s, a British salesman wanted to explore the opportunity for selling shoes in Africa so he sent forth two of his best salesman to investigate the matter further. One salesman sent back a telegram: “Situation hopeless Stop/Africans do not wear shoes Stop”. His other salesman returned quite the contrary: “Africans do not wear shoes Stop/Glorious opportunities abound Stop”.
How could two individuals read the exact opposite situation in the exact same situation? Because every moment in our life we encounter either a downward spiral (situation hopeless) or the land of fertile possibility (glorious opportunities abound). I have recounted the tale of the African shoes at least 50 times since I heard it, and it has helped me personally remember that in life, “Glorious opportunities abound!”
Mindfulness Mondays 34: The David
January 18, 2010 by dr. lam · 4 Comments
Michelangelo’s David is a sight to behold. I was able to enjoy its beauty about 20 years ago when I visited Florence with my family. My experience as a youth was not quite as remarkable as Wayne Dyer’s, as he explained in a radio broadcast. He recounted that he stayed in front of the sculpture for 4 hours mesmerized by its intricacies to the point where his wife and child wandered around the city buying up Italian mementos and other items. When they returned, they urged him to leave, which he finally obliged.
Dyer talks about how Michelangelo was asked how he could create such an exquisite piece of sculpture from a single piece of unformed marble. He replied that David was already in that marble, he just had to chip away the excess. Michelangelo was first and foremost a sculptor. He painted the Sistine Chapel on his back for 4 years simply to finance his ability to focus on his love of sculpting. Wow!
This week focus on what beauty already lies under your feet, but you are failing to see because you only see the unformed marble around you. Chip away at the excess and see the beauty that is already there underneath it all.