Broken Open Part 5 of 8: Fierce Grace
September 16, 2009 by dr. lam
There was no other story in Broken Open more affecting to my soul and that has left an indelible imprint on it than the story of Ram Dass, which I have alluded to in a previous blog. After reading this story, I have oft repeated its significance to my patients, staff, friends, and family, as it has become part of the fabric of my mind and heart.
Richard Alpert was a young psychology professor at Harvard in the 1960s on a meteoric rise in his career until his experimentation with the counter culture and drug expanding experiments alongside his colleague Timothy Leary forced him out of the conservative academic bastion that did not accept his liberal leanings. After a trip to India in the 1970s, he donned the name Ram Dass, meaning “Servant of God”, by his mentor there. He became a great teacher and writer, most famously for his book, Be Here Now.
In 1997, Ram Dass suffered a catastrophic, hemorrhagic stroke that left him wheelchair bound and literally speechless. His book, Still Here, recounts his emergence from that incident that had only a 10% chance of survival, a fact that did not escape the appreciative guru. Lesser had worked with Ram Dass at her Omega Institute on many occasions but had not seen him due to a personal disagreement and subsequently happened to be out of town upon his next visit to Omega. When the stroke occurred, she was simultaneously grieving the loss of her 85-year-old father and so had not seen Ram Dass until about a year after his stroke.
When she encountered him for the first time in a long while, she felt her heart settled and his as well. They embraced as old friends, colleagues, and heart warriors. When Lesser asked Ram Dass what the stroke had done to him, he replied, “Before…before stroke, before–happy grace…love grace…good things kept happening to me. Then, stroke…lose things…also grace…fierce grace.”
Lesser returned, “I understand. What did you lose? What did fierce grace take away?”
“Ego”, Ram Dass said, “Ego, gone. Nothing more to lose. Ego breaks open–then you see who you really are. The ego. The ego. It’s like this wheelchair. It’s a…It’s a beautiful wheelchair. Use it. Enjoy it! Just don’t think it is you…Don’t take yourself so, so…personally.”
I think that is a beautiful exchange and helps us to remember that we are just “bozos on the bus” of life. We are not our ego. We are not our own prideful self. We are merely reflections of our divine origins and must be humble in the face of that knowledge.
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That is a really important thing to remember. Thanks, Dr. Lam! Love your blogs!
thanks heather!!!