Mindfulness Mondays 41: Why Are You So Angry?
March 8, 2010 by dr. lam · 2 Comments
I was in yoga practice a few months ago when my instructor, Suze Curtis, told a story during our shavasana practice at the end of class (for you non-yogis out there, that is when we all lie down in rest and meditation at the conclusion of class). Anyway, I really liked this story. She reminded me of a movie that I saw a few years ago, Seabiscuit, the prized horse whose jockey Red Pollard is about whom this story relates. In one instance, Red was riding Seabiscuit hard but was knocked out of the race by a dirty deed by another competing jockey. In disgust, as Red walks off the track, he encounters his advisor who asks him, “Why are you really so angry?” At that point in the movie, there is a flashback to when Red was 13 and it shows his parents abandoning him.
What Suze mentioned was that when we have a situation we are angry at, most likely it has very little to do with the other person or even with the circumstance. It has a lot to do with ourselves, how we allow anger to engulf our lives, how we allow ourselves to lose patience, how we allow circumstances and people to influence our behavior, reaction, thought and deed. Next time you get angry, ask yourself what you are really angry at. You might just find it has nothing to do with the other person or even your circumstance.
Mindfulness Mondays 40: Norman Foster From Here to There
March 1, 2010 by dr. lam · 2 Comments
I think most of my blog readers know how fond I am about art and architecture. If I were not a plastic surgeon, I would most likely have been an architect or an industrial designer. I spent half a day in the Nasher Museum that featured a retrospective on Norman Foster’s architectural work. I enjoyed seeing his creations as much as I did listening to the man speak on film during a documentary about his life and his philosophy.
He talked about his humble origins in a working-class district of Manchester where he said that people with soft hands were looked at as suspect. He said that the people in his neighborhood thought anyone who delved into the mysteries of books was not genuine like the working class folk that populated that industrial town. Nevertheless, he went on to study at the University of Manchester School of Architecture and City Planning and followed by the Yale University School of Architecture on a Henry fellowship. He is quoted as saying, “In Britain the idea one could go from blue-collar beginnings to the university was so far out, it was quite unthinkable.”
He has gone on to win the prestigious Pritzker Prize (the Nobel equivalent for architects) among many other notable accolades. His buildings are so profoundly creative that they defy easy classification. The pictured headquarters for Swiss Re in London, known as The Gherkin, showcases his unbridled creativity, among his prolific work. His projects are also known for their environmental sustainability and relying on local construction teams and materials as part of that strategy.
This week, think of what “humble origins” you come from, and be bold to think big. Express your creativity and be larger than life. There are no excuses for one’s life, and your past is no exception.
10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace: Fourth Secret
February 25, 2010 by dr. lam · 3 Comments
Fourth Secret: “Embrace Silence”
Our modern culture is brimming with noise: cell phones, email, loud rock concerts, 5.1 surround movies, screaming children, bickering spouses, and other ringing types of cacophony. When we still our hearts and our mind for a moment, we can tap into our creative soul, refresh our spirits, and find God. The book of Psalms in the Old Testament says, “Be still, and know that I am God”. Mother Theresa said that God dwells in the world of silence as evident by just looking at the stars and the moon and the quiet growth of green grass. We can find divinity in quiet, meditative moments.
If we do not have programmed times for meditation, we can always steal a moment of silence when possible. Dyer talks about quieting his energy and embracing the silence at a stopped traffic light. Those 2 to 3 minutes can offer a respite and a revitalization rather than what it typically does, which is annoyance through our impatience. We can sit silently at these unappointed moments to work ourselves into a more peace and enlightened state.
Dyer says there is no such thing as a bad meditation. Any meditation can be a time for us to achieve quiet healing in our body, our heart, and our mind. Just writing these blogs silently on my flight to San Diego for my Fall meeting is already a type of quiet meditation. We all can find that peace through a tranquil retreat into silence, no matter how brief or trivial that moment may appear to be at the time.
Mindfulness Mondays 39: Defying Categorization
February 22, 2010 by dr. lam · 2 Comments
A few months ago I was reading the New York Times, and I came across a very interesting article about a wonderful painter David Hockney who is perhaps best known for his California swimming pool series. He is now into his 70s, and he is still rambunctious as he ever was. One of the points that the article conveyed is that Hockney never fit neatly into any artistic genre. He painted whatever he wanted, and his returning to his native England recently after a 25-year stint in California is no exception. A short video clip showed this spry, irrepressible, and perhaps liminal spirit talk about how photography simply could not capture the beauty of the pastoral English landscape that he was so expertly capturing with oil on canvas. He did not care so much about his reputation but his work, and his work did not necessarily have to fit into any construct except his own imagination.
I love the eccentricity (for those who are mainstream) about what I read. I think we are so very focused on how people will see us that we are constrained in our movements, in our thoughts, and in our behavior. I like what Wayne Dyer says, “When you walk into a room with 30 people, you leave with 30 reputations.” Quite true. The only reputation that has merit is your own. This week think about ways to express the real you that is bottled under layers of societal dictums, decorum, and restraint. (Obviously, I hold no responsibility if you do something too crazy. Just wanting you to feel like a free spirit for a change. Good luck.)
Mindfulness Mondays 38: Letting Go of Judgment
February 15, 2010 by dr. lam · 2 Comments
Don’t we all have a little Simon Cowell in us? How good does it feel to be judged ourselves? Not great, right? We oftentimes judge others by their words, actions, and deeds. When they do not conform to our narrow worldview, we stand in judgment over that person owing to our superior position. We use religion, politics, education, age, gender, race, looks, etc. to get in our way, and simply put we judge.
We rely on labels to help reduce that other individual in our eyes to a stereotype: Black, Woman, Muslim, Child, Retarded, Nerdy, etc. We hide behind these stereotypes because they are easy and make us feel good about ourselves. But do they? We should feel bad if we start to label and judge another individual because we have no right to do so. Simon Cowell may be fun for American Idol, but he is no fun if you are one or if you are with one.
Remember in The 4 Agreements, “we judge others by their action, and we judge ourselves by our intention.” Oh, Bob did that because he was being hurtful (judging action). Oh, I never meant to cause harm because I am a good person (judging intention). We are so full of moral superiority that we have to exercise it daily just so that we can feel good about ourselves. ”I would not hang out with Susan because she just does not know when to shut up.”
When are we filled with judging? How do we judge? This week catch yourself judging someone else and begin the process of letting that go. When we let go of judging, we can connect with people that we thought we never could because of our preconceived judgments that got in our way.