The Power of Intention Part 10 of 10: Intentionality
March 13, 2009 by dr. lam · 14 Comments
I conclude this 2 week series with an exercise that I found very meaningful during my EO retreat to Marble Falls a few weeks ago and that I thought I would pass along to you. Carl Reynolds, our retreat planner (great job Carl!), put this exercise together so it does not come from Wayne Dyer’s book. Intentionality is, believe it or not, a real word. However, the philosophical construct behind it is quite difficult for the armchair philosopher in me to decode. I welcome comments. In this case, we are going to treat the word intentionality and intention the same. My goal is simply to have you perform this exercise either in private or in this blog if you are so inclined. I will publish my own answers below. I hope you can skip my answers and come up with your own, then read my answers. Here we go:
PART I
Intentionality: ”When your dreams and your values are in alignment and your actions progress you towards your vision with constant purpose.”
Dreams: In this exercise we are going to dream. Take money out of the equation. what would you do with your time? Travel? Volunteer? Teach, consult, raise your kids yourself, etc. Write down a list of those activities that you would do if you had the time…Dream big or as small as you want to…. (10 minutes)
-Teach plastic surgery
-Public speaking
-Write a lay press book
-Workout every day to get more fit
-Volunteer to mentor bright young minds
-Engage in more concerted spa retreats and continue with my personal growth
PART II
Values: Now we are going to list our values. Take a moment and write down at least 5 values that are core to you. (5 minutes)
1. Passion
2. Integrity
3. Work ethic/Rest- Balance
4. Compassion/Love
5. Happiness/Positivity
PART III
Filter: List two of the dreams that make it through your value filter. (2 minutes)
1. Continue with my personal growth and achieve better balance in my life.
2. Volunteer/mentor young minds
PART IV
At this point we now have two dreams that have made it through your filter. Our next step is to be intentional in putting together an action plan that brings these important dreams to fruition. But first, describe one or two times when you knew you were in alignment with your values and your purpose. What pulled you away from that alignment? What keeps you from getting back to that alignment? Be specific. (15 min.)
I felt that my staff has been in alignment with me in the past. I felt that I was not as attuned to their needs this past year, which I have now changed. I am part of multiple accountability groups that have weekly and monthly goals. I fear not being the best leader that I can be. I fear that I will not grow personally to my satisfaction.
PART V
Intentionality: Create an action plan for one of the dreams that made it through the filter. List at least 5 activities that will need to be scheduled so that you are intentionally working towards accomplishing that goal. (15 min.)
1. Schedule body rehabilitation time including monthly rolf sessions and weekly massage therapies.
2. Dedicate one weekend day a month completely free of any thought toward work and make it entirely fun.
3. Make sure that I have built in weekly yoga and spin classes, every single week unless I am out of town.
4. Continue to work every week on creative ideas toward making effective blogs and hold myself accountable for what I write.
5. To move away from constantly being near a computer every night but to be less anchored to my keyboard. To respond to questions and thoughts no more than twice in a given night after leaving work.
I hope you enjoyed this exercise and can hold yourself accountable for your actions. If you can’t, find someone who can. Maybe we all can be cyber buddies to keep each other in alignment with our own intentions.
The Power of Intention Part 9 of 10: Purpose
March 12, 2009 by dr. lam · 4 Comments
The highest order of Abraham’s Maslow’s pyramid of self-actualization is to have purpose in life. However, whenever I address purpose, many people may start to get nervous. What purpose? To help the rain forest? To save the infirm and needy? To have a breakthrough scientific achievement? Well perhaps and perhaps not. Purpose oftentimes does not come to you with too much thought and anxiety. It should come to you when you connect with the universal power of intention, when you are calm, and when you are at peace.
I had a case where a woman was a victim of domestic abuse, and I was planning to do her procedure to help her. However, her story just did not make scientific sense. I will spare you the details because I would like to keep things with full anonymity here. I discussed this over with my staff and finally decided that I was going to do the case anyway for two reasons. First, my first and foremost goal for LFP is to help people. I don’t think I could live with myself if I made a false judgment and actually wound up not helping someone that I could have. Second, I believe that when someone comes into my presence for the day that I will change their life. I know that might sound arrogant to you but it is not coming from that. I am dismissing my ego. I am letting that go here. I know that many people that I encounter in my practice need me and I need to be there for them.
As much as I can help someone do something, I can also help them to see that they don’t need something. I had a lady who had a perceived physical defect of her lower face (we’ll keep it at that) and had spent a tremendous amount of money already trying to fix the problem. When I saw her, I couldn’t even begin to fathom the problem that she had because I couldn’t see it. I asked her, “Have you ever considered the option of NOT doing anything?” She started to cry for several minutes, and I embraced her. I felt all of her negative energy and perception start to leave her body. Helping others in whatever shape or form can be a noble cause and be the ultimate cause for any life. It is a singular purpose for me.
That being said, do we have to live a life of self-abnegation then? No, in fact, we must start with ourselves. Dyer talks about first loving yourself and healing yourself before you can do that for those around you. It is similar to the idea that I presented a few weeks ago from John Maxwell about “leading yourself” first before you can lead others. You must first help yourself then help others. Dyer talks about “self respect” which comes from a simple truism, “I love myself”. This does not mean that we are focused on ego (on the contrary) but a perception of ourselves that is filled with an ideal image of ourselves. I have tried to stop saying to people, “I’m not perfect” because it goes against our own creation and the perfect image that we should have in our own Creator’s eyes. Instead I am perfect in the light of my own creation and thereby perfect in how I see myself.
When I work on my patients, they understand that I am not trying to make them a perfect human species but to offer them the objective of looking good outside that can reflect their own inner beauty. I think a patient from Arkansas said it best in a testimonial to me:
As the years have rolled by, the man in the mirror had seemed to age more rapidly and less gracefully than I had hoped. I still felt young, active and maybe a bit adventuresome, but the droopy eyes, wrinkles and hollow face did not reflect that. I earnestly wanted to look more like the mental image I had of myself.
One of my greatest concerns before my surgery was that I might be giving a wrong impression of being tired, inattentive or even bored while speaking with friends, family members or patients. (The sagging skin on my eyelids made me look like all of the above most days!) That really bothered me because I never wanted anyone to think I had a haughty attitude or what they had to say was unimportant to me.
With these issues I landed in your office, not at all sure that there was a solution for me that did not involve changing my identity or doing something really radical. I need not have worried. You seem to have understood my concerns better than I did. Your solution addressed all these needs better than I was able to express them.
I am honored to help my dear patients and those patients who are not yet mine to create a beautiful self image that reflects their own inner beauty. My purpose in life is to help others through as many ways that I can: plastic surgery, psychotherapy, empathy, listening, and simply put, extending my love to them.
The Power of Intention Part 8 of 10: Raising Your Energy State
March 11, 2009 by dr. lam · 6 Comments
In the book, The Power of Intention, Dyer talks about various states of energy but fundamentally divides energies into high and low. He tries to help someone leave a low energy state and to enter a high energy state. For example, hatred, fear, anxiety are low energy states, whereas love, happiness, and forgiveness are high energy states. He talks about kinesiology in which muscle strength goes flaccid when someone contemplates these low energy states but becomes firm and strong with high energy thoughts. I actually tried this out and was quite skeptical in the past but it is true. When I was telling the truth like “My name is Sam”, my arm that was held out remained stiff. When I said, “my name is Susan”, I could feel my arm go limp and fall against the resistance that the other person had exerted on my arm. Our conscious mind can overcome these muscle tests but at the time I had no idea about kinesiology or what was transpiring so I was susceptible and it worked.
Our entire world can be reflective of high or low energy states. Certain types of food and alcohol in general can lead to low energy states. The choice of music that we listen to can predispose us toward a high energy state or an angry, resentful low one. The people we associate with can either raise your energy or lower it. Holding a thought of forgiveness in your mind can help raise your energy. Doing a charitable deed without telling someone can raise your energy. Being kind to another individual can raise your energy. Exerting hatred can easily lower it.
Dyer says that you will know how your energy state is when you see its impact on those around you. Do you elevate or lower their energies? Here are hopefully some of the effects that a high-energy person can deliver to those around him/her:
1. Your presence instills calmness.
2. Your presence leaves others feeling energized.
3. Your presence allows others to feel better about themselves.
4. Your presence allows others to feel unified and connected to one another, to nature, and to all humankind.
5. Your presence instills a sense of purpose.
6. Your presence allows others to trust in authentic personal connections with you and with others.
7. Your presence inspires others to greatness.
8. Your presence aligns others with beauty, i.e., you help others see beauty everywhere.
9. Your presence instills health rather than sickness by radiating a healing energy.
In the effort to understand energy levels that have stretched across the bounds of our collective humanity, Dyer talks about research conducted for over 20 years by David Hawkins, M.D. in his book, Power vs. Force. Hawkins argues that 87% of humanity calibrates toward a low energy state. The higher up the ladder of energy, the fewer individuals exist in that sphere. He argues that a select few spiritual leaders can lead to vibrations that energize multitudes of people and that can influence all of humankind. The following comments are one of the most profound that I have encountered. I am going to repeat what Dyer quotes of Hawkins’ research:
• One individual who lives and vibrates to the energy of optimism and a willingness to be nonjudgmental of others will counterbalance the negativity of 90,000 individuals who calibrate at the lower weakening levels.
•One individual who lives and vibrates to the energy of pure love and reverence for all of life will counterbalance the negativity of 750,000 individuals who calibrate at the lower weakening levels.
• One individual who lives and vibrates to the energy of illumination, bliss, and infinite peace will counterbalance the negativity of 10 million people who calibrate at the lower weakening levels (approximately 22 such sages are alive today).
•One individual who lives and vibrates to the energy of grace, pure spirit beyond the body, in a world of nonduality or complete oneness, will counterbalance the negativity of 70 million people who calibrate at the lower weakening levels (approximately 10 such sages are alive today).
I encourage and exhort all of you to climb with me toward higher and higher energy states so that we can influence scores of people around us to do the same! Raise your energy today and make it as positive and radiating to every person you encounter that you can! Remember that higher energy does not mean a nervous, caffeinated, active state. It is in fact quite the opposite: it is a calm presence that quietly radiates peace, love, kindness, strength, and hope to all. The more that you work on yourself and get to that higher energy state, the more that your high energy state will shine like a beacon to all around you. I believe my high energy state is felt by all who read this blog, and I can then facilitate my readers to affect the spirit of multitudes beyond them.
The Power of Intention Part 7 of 10: Directing Your Inner Voice
March 10, 2009 by dr. lam · 8 Comments
An obstacle to intention is any manifest conflict that exists with our internal dialogue. Dyer likens this to the old Match Game in which newlyweds would try to guess what his/her partner thought or felt on a particular subject. We need to match our intention with our goal. As examples:
No Match: I hate my spouse who always acts rudely to me.
Match: I will see only love in my spouse and radiate that love to him or her.
No Match: I am poor and need money badly.
Match: I will attract abundance and be without want.
If our inner dialogue is filled with doubt, anger, despair, fear, we are holding onto a deep level of negativity that we need to let go so that we can be attuned to the universal condition of positive intention. We must achieve a peaceful inner voice and one that attracts abundance, love, creativity, i.e., in short the 7 faces of intention talked about over the past 2 weeks.
One way that Dyer talks about reaching a desirable inner voice is to meditate. We can start with the affirmation, “I want to feel good” and say it as we slowly breathe in and out and with our eyes fully closed. I have calmed nervous patients with a similar technique. I had a gentleman who came from Michigan for a scar revision and a lip reduction last week who was flustered and nervous given the fact that he had bad permanent lip injections and repeated scar revisions that failed. I don’t blame him. I put my hands onto his forehead and slowly spoke the words, “You are okay. I am right here. I want you to slow your breathing down and start to focus on the present moment.” I performed an exercise and asked where he wanted to be. He said the Maldives so we went there for a few minutes. When I came back into the room after the anesthetic had been fully in place, I asked him how he was doing. By the tone of his voice, I could tell he was already calm. He said, “I’m doing fine, doctor.”
Calm your inner voice. Feel your peace now. Exit your anxiety. Focus on abundance, love, creativity, and gratitude. Focus on where your spirit will take you. Focus on directing that inner dialogue toward a future that is bright and calm and, of course, a present time that is equally so. If you have 5 minutes right now, close your eyes and start to breathe slowly and deeply and focus on the Power of Now. Focus on gratitude and abundance. Focus on peace.
The Power of Intention Part 6 of 10: Gratitude
March 9, 2009 by dr. lam · 10 Comments
I know this is my third blog on gratitude over the course of blog writing, but that is how special I believe the intention of gratitude truly is. The feeling of gratitude is diametrically opposed to the feeling of scarcity. It tells you, “I have enough” and “I am happy” and further “I am thankful.” When we open our spirit in praise to our God for thankfulness, we can receive more. When we turn off the spigot of gratitude, we enter a darker world that is filled with anxiety about the future and of our current situation. The offering of gratitude falls fully in alignment with the intention of abundance. When we see abundance that we have, we should offer gratitude. That is the next logical step after seeing that we are in an abundant state rather than one of deprivation.
Even when we look at our past, we should look at it with gratitude. If you had a negative experience or you went through a divorce, there was a time and reason for everything. You learned from those things and be grateful that you are not there anymore. Too often we look at our past with resentment and resistance, but it is part of the fabric of your life. There was a time and reason for that person or those persons to have been in your life. Look at your past with an open heart and then you can focus on your present and future with gratitude much more easily.
Start with a simple exercise: what are you grateful for? For me, I am grateful to have a career that I am in love with. I am grateful for having wonderful staff that I care about and who care about me. I am grateful that my staff is talented in each of their own unique ways. I am grateful for the abundance and growth of my practice. I am grateful for my loyal readership of my blogs. I am grateful for being able to lead and touch many people even way far outside of Dallas. I am grateful that I have such wonderful, sincere, and motivated patients. I am grateful for the food that I partake, the health that I have, the clothes that adorn me. I am grateful for the love of my family, specifically my mother and sister. I am grateful to have precious in-laws like Matt who gives his love to my sister unconditionally. I am grateful for a building that was created from scratch and which embodies what was once only an immaterial dream. I am grateful that you are connected with me right now at this very moment that you are reading my words. I am grateful for the bounty that God has bestowed upon me, for the love that I feel every day, for the wealth of joy that floods my heart, for the personal growth that I experience every day, and for so much more that would fill volumes of written word.
What are you grateful for today? Stop for a moment, meditate, and enumerate all that you are grateful for out loud and to yourself. Follow forward this very day with the spirit and intent of gratitude and be thankful for your abundance.