Pema Chödrön, Don’t Bite the Hook Part 2 of 6: Bourgeois Suffering
November 6, 2009 by dr. lam
I love this concept. Bourgeois suffering occurs when we get the middle seat on the airplane instead of or preferred aisle seat. Or, it arises when a fast-moving car darts in front of us causing a near accident and forcing us to slow down. In other words, it is not real suffering but minor events that we interpret to be insufferable. Now, why would we do that? Because we steadily condition ourselves to respond in such a manner.
However, we can escape this response by conditioning ourselves toward the reverse. When we get the middle aisle, we focus on patience of being there and rather enjoy our situation. When we are in a traffic jam, we test our patience. In fact, Chödrön talks about using traffic situations as a metaphor for life in that if we can steadily deal with seemingly hard situations that test our patience in the arena of driving, we can then become more patient in life.
You know the person in life who is always griping: negative about his job, his wife, the smell of your perfume, the taste of his food, the weather, basically everything. That attitude may not have come about over night. Instead, it came about slowly through years of self conditioning that led to one’s current temperament and outlook. Just as much as we condition ourselves toward a perhaps less than ideal attitude, we can free ourselves from this encumbered view slowly and stepwise. We can always begin with the small things, the bourgeois suffering, as Chödrön calls it.
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3 Responses to “Pema Chödrön, Don’t Bite the Hook Part 2 of 6: Bourgeois Suffering”
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Terrific! Any help you give anyone to be more patient is great! Thanks.
I really liked your point about a person’s current temperament and outlook as having been developed through years of self conditioning. That is so true! And great point about how someone can reverse that.
Great blog, Dr. Lam!!!
thanks guys!