Pema Chödrön, Don’t Bite the Hook Part 3 of 6: Cycling Down
November 10, 2009 by dr. lam
In any situation that we encounter, we can choose to disengage or we can “bite the hook” and escalate it. Chödrön talks about the film version of To Kill a Mockingbird when the lawyer Atticus Finch portrayed by Gregory Peck gets spit on by someone who did not like his words. Instead of raising in a fit of anger, Peck turns with his children and says, “Come on children, let’s move along.” Did he have the right to engage with this man? Perhaps. But should he have? What would engaging have meant to his ongoing temperament and that of his children? It would have meant ongoing negativity.
Instead in that situation, he saw that this man’s anger was his own business. Finch was at a different place in his life that allowed him to control his response and move forward. He did not “cycle down”. He did not “bite the hook”. He stayed firm with his emotions and in control of himself. As Viktor Frankl talks about, when all freedoms are taken from you, you have one left, attitude and that can mean more than anything else in life.
Another example, Chödrön gives is when she was at a meditation retreat and an adobe brick fell and hit her head. Fortunately, the adobe was soft and did not cause harm. However, the woman next to her immediately responded that some children must have been wrecking havoc from above and unleashed an unsettling anger in her voice and demeanor. Chödrön interpreted this to be like Newton who gained enlightenment when the apple bonked his head. Instead of cycling down, she cycled up and disengaged from what would have seemingly been a negative experience. She was a product of years of self conditioning to free herself from what would otherwise appear as travails and tribulations.
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2 Responses to “Pema Chödrön, Don’t Bite the Hook Part 3 of 6: Cycling Down”
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Oh, dreamy Gregory Peck!!!
Ahh!
That is an excellent example! Very great message! Dr. Lam, I like it that you keep reminding us that when all freedoms are taken, attitude is what’s left and that can mean more than anything else in life. You can’t stress that enough!!
I can see how the woman next to the lady that a brick fell on, was getting upset…lol I would too and not out of anger, but out of concern that someone could get hurt, but great point!
haha. yes. hey my gravatar is working!