Life in Perspective Part 4 of 4: Your Life in Whole
November 27, 2008 by dr. lam
There is nothing more sobering than thinking about writing your own eulogy or epitaph. What would it say? What is the reason that you were put on this planet? What do you want to be remembered by. Sometimes for clarity, I think if I were on my deathbed what would I want to be remembered by. I know many people think plastic surgery is a triviality. Those individuals that do not share my passion for changing people’s lives by bettering their aesthetic presence do not work for me, are not my patients, and really are not my friends. I have no problem with people who differ from me in their outlook in life but those who stay in my core share my vision and my passion. I would love to be remembered as a surgeon who always maintained his integrity with his patients, did what was right for them, and gave his entire breath to be the best on the planet by advancing the knowledge, science, and care for the facial plastic surgery patient. Of course, a chapter in my life that has not been accomplished is having a wonderful family of my own but I am confident that my dream will be realized one day. That is something that I know will become an essential part of how I would like to be defined and remembered.
I introduced briefly yesterday the concept of “purpose”. Yesterday’s blog however focused more specifically on the ideas of goal setting for one’s future, but the underlying meaning is why should you have goals. As alluded to, the goals are meant both for delayed gratification when they are attained but ultimately for a much longer delayed gratification which is when you pass on the question is have you left a legacy behind you that you would be proud of? Yesterday’s blog mentioned a “20-year goal”. However, the ultimate goal that hopefully should be kept in mind beyond 20 years down the road is how will that goal be evaluated when you pass on from this world. Would it not only have mattered to you but would it have mattered to any other living soul? That will help put your goals into perspective a bit. In a way putting your future goals in the past after you have achieved them is paramount.
My blog two days ago focused on the present time of seeing life as a journey. It really is. Life is meant to be savored, enjoyed, and experienced. When we remember an individual who passes from our presence, we hopefully don’t just remember their accomplishments but the journey they took with us. I remember when I was in college I made it a point that if I had a choice between studying or creating a memory with my friends, I would choose the latter. Because not only would I have some fun but I would remember that event and cherish it many years to come but I wouldn’t remember reading a dry text on Pascal’s Pensées. (Ultimately, yes, I did attend almost all my classes and was very applied in my studiousness too; and yes, I remember Pascal’s works.) Don’t pass up opportunities to create a richer life for yourself because you are overly bogged down by work. A balanced life is worth living.
Three days ago we talked about your past and how to learn from mistakes and how not to be imprisoned by past mistakes. My mother shared with me last night that her mother always lived in the past and that is how she remembers her. After the Communists took over China in 1949, my maternal grandmother lost her status, privilege, wealth, and all the trappings that defined her existence until that point. Upon arriving to Hong Kong and for the remainder of her life, she lived her life in bitter recollection of her glorious past so that her final years were a shadow of a previous existence. That is how my mother remembered her. When others sum up your total time on this planet, will they see you as a creature enslaved by past thoughts or a free bird that lived life gloriously and made an overwhelmingly positive impact to all those around you. Will you be like my maternal grandmother who dwelled on her lost baubles or will you be someone who made the best of the situation and looked forward to a better day?
I met with an individual last week, Jeff Crilley, who shared with me a lovely video that I think says it all. It’s called The Dash. Enjoy! And Happy Thanksgiving to all those who reside in the Unites States and celebrate this blessed holiday. For those who live outside of the U.S., I still wish you a Happy Thanksgiving too because we all should be thankful. To see what I am thankful for, you can read my new forum post on the subject.
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