The Art of Happiness Part 4 of 5: Compassion
January 8, 2009 by dr. lam
When we see each others as human beings and nothing more and nothing less, we see each other as our true selves. Please read yesterday’s blog if you have not done so already before reading today’s. It will help you to understand the meaning of today’s blog much better, and today’s blog represents the next level to achieve after yesterday’s.
The Dalai Lama talks about how we respond to a fish writhing in torment with a hook in its mouth or a bear wincing in pain with an arrow through its body. That universal sense of connection with any sentient being is known as compassion. The Dalai Lama separates “attachment” from “compassion”. Attachment is the feeling we have for someone we know or love because they are a friend, relative, loved one, etc. Compassion can be deeper and more universal in scope.
Although attachment may appear to offer a deeper level of feeling for another, universal compassion separate from attachment actually does. When one of our loved ones does something wrong, we may respond with hatred or resentment because we have that level of attachment. True compassion is separate from knowing that individual. It simply means if I see someone else suffering or in pain that I would respond to that individual because I feel their pain and believe in my heart for the natural right of every individual for happiness and to avoid suffering. Therefore, a vital component to compassion is empathy. Empathy involves putting ourselves in the position of the other person to feel what they are feeling and to get to the point that we can relate to their pain and share it with them.
The obvious question may be why would we want to involve ourselves with another’s despair? Would that not be in diametric opposition to our goal of wanting to attain happiness? The Dalai Lama explains that when we suffer for ourselves we enter an unbridled misery that is difficult to escape but when we suffer with another we feel an elation to be able to share that burden with another. If you see someone in pain, don’t dismiss it or leave it but feel what they are feeling and feel it as deeply as they do.
Compassion is at the heart of connecting with another. It helps unite our feelings. Sharing your burden with others can help lighten your load as well…of course, only to those with receptive ears and hearts. In the book, The Art of Happiness, the Dalai Lama commented he would talk to whoever was in proximity to him about his emotions so that they could share one another’s feelings, good or bad. For example, when he was confronted with the loss of his country, he talked to the person sweeping his floor in his chambers. Some have asked, “What did you get from sharing your thoughts with someone that could not help understand your plight?” He replied that he could share their common humanity and by doing so through a compassionate perspective share his own burden.
The next time you see someone in pain or suffering, don’t turn your eye away but connect with them so that you can share their pain and in so doing you will not feel more pain but a universal connection of compassion that is only positive for both of you. Reading today’s blog will help you understand tomorrow’s better on confronting suffering, our last blog on the art of happiness.
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