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Emotional Freedom Part 12 of 17: Emotional Vampire Type 2, The Victim

July 31, 2009 by  

victimThe second type of emotional vampire is the victim, or dependent personality.  This individual constantly seeks your help because they feel that they are unfortunate, a victim of bad luck, or compelled into a bad situation through external, countervailing forces.  They want your ear because, “My boyfriend stormed out…” or whatever litany of negative thoughts pervades their mind for the moment.  If you don’t listen to them, they will say, “I thought you were a good friend.”  Although you may want to help, you find that this individual is constantly draining your energy by demanding your attention, time, and solace.

If you encounter this type of individual, close off your body language to suggest that you cannot be there every time.  If it is a coworker say, “I am sorry to hear that.  I will send you beautiful thoughts today and hope for the best, but I need to return to my work to finish my tasks.”  If it is a relative you can say, “Our relationship is important to me.  But it is not healthy to feel sorry for yourself.  I would discuss with you what you would like to talk about for 5 minutes but only if you have a prepared solution to your problem.”  Obviously, a genteel voice and a firm hand can help avoid being trapped.

If you recognize your own traits of being the victim, you can do two constructive things.  First, count your blessings every day and compare yourself with so many other people that are less fortunate than you are.  Enumerate all your blessings and offer your gratitude for where you are today and what you  have and who loves you.  Second, think of your own constructive ways to solve any problems you may believe you are encountering rather than pipeline your thoughts over to the nearest warm body until they buckle.

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Comments

4 Responses to “Emotional Freedom Part 12 of 17: Emotional Vampire Type 2, The Victim”

  1. Heather on July 31st, 2009 8:35 pm

    Hey, that sounds like some of my siblings…lol Yeah, I’ve acted like that a couple times. Yikes! lol Great advice for that type. Thanks!

  2. dr. lam on July 31st, 2009 8:36 pm

    we all act in complex ways, as stated yesterday. thanks for the honesty!

  3. Heather on July 31st, 2009 8:41 pm

    Hey, I only acted like that a couple times! ;) lol

  4. dr. lam on July 31st, 2009 8:44 pm

    ok. ok.

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