Emotional Freedom Part 14 of 17: Emotional Vampire Type 4, The Criticizer
August 5, 2009 by dr. lam
A kissing cousin of the controller, the Criticizer, as the name implies simply always degrades and criticizes everyone around her. She must make it a point to point out your physical, psychological, spiritual, and emotional flaws for her own betterment. She feels the pressing need to express her God-given right to be superior to those around her by telling you of your own problems cloaked in friendly advice,”Wow, you really could use a new dress.” The criticizer is born from a parental lineage of criticizing that has led to self hatred poured outward now to counterbalance the pervasive, lingering self hatred from her own parents and previous relationships.
To combat the criticizer, there are many options. First, stand your ground without being defensive and say, “I would appreciate that you don’t criticize my… because it does not make me feel good. I know your intentions are good, but I don’t feel good when you say that.” Put limits and boundaries on topics that are particularly sensitive like personal appearance, etc. Try to strike a compromise in a situation. For example, if your mate criticizes you for leaving dishes in the sink, divide up the task so that it gets done but where you obviously chip in as well. Finally, the love bomb is one of the most powerful ways to combat the criticizer. If you give tremendous love in return, that person will not know how to react and the walls will start to crumble.
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Whew, I know this is not me!
These blogs are a ton of fun, Dr. Lam!!
thanks. you will enjoy my food blogs next week!
Can’t wait!