Emotional Freedom Part 15 of 17: Emotional Vampire Type 5, The Splitter

August 6, 2009 by dr. lam

20071004angry1 The Splitter expresses borderline personality and is hard to deal with. At one moment the splitter may think very highly of you and be filled with praise and at a moment’s turn express deep disdain toward you that takes you by surprise. The splitter is prone to violent or emotional outbursts and is almost itching for a fight. The splitter tends to be filled with emotion but is relatively empty inside. They can be self abusive or self mutilating even, and spouses of splitters can lead lives of quiet desperation, being forced into a manipulated submission by their tantrum-prone behavior. Splitters are unsteady and can make an individual feel nervous or feel low about their own self-esteem after being attacked.

The way to handle a splitter is not to return a fight for a fight otherwise the situation only escalates with no visible end in sight. Remaining calm is the first step. Visualize a protective shield around you that can deflect their toxic negativity and disengage eye contact so that you don’t absorb all their venomous hatred. Establish guidelines on behavior as you would an uncontrollable five-year-old child. Finally, define solutions for their problems and say, “I’m leaving you until you become calmer. Then we can talk.”

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