Emotional Freedom Part 8 of 17: The Second Emotional Type, The Empath
July 24, 2009 by dr. lam
The empath has many qualities that are quite the opposite of the intellectual. This individual possesses many positive qualities such as being able to relate with others’ emotions well and being intuitive with many circumstances. Many times people come to them for support and nurture, which they readily provide and do so well. They work with their feelings like a fine tuned instrument.
However, the downside for an empath is that the empath can be easily overloaded, feel anxious and depressed. They have a hard time saying no to people’s requests. They feel tense in a crowded place and can be emotionally drained at the end of the day or after spending time with others. Orloff believes that many individuals who are considered to suffer from chronic fatigue may be mislabeled empaths. Many empaths cannot easily handle criticism, as they are overly sensitive. Sometimes, they are so emotional that they have hard times determining boundaries for their emotions with others and therefore may be less developed in their cohabitation skills and may remain single because of it.
If you have some or most of these traits, then Orloff offers ways to combat the negative attributes while preserving the good features. First, enlist your intellect. Use your logic that may not be a typical way for you to respond by saying, “I can handle this situation” and then breaking it down into how you will do so. Allow yourself quiet time away from all the noise. Either step outside into the fresh air for a time alone, especially during a bustling work day. Or, what Orloff (who is a self-proclaimed empath) likes to do is to go to a public bathroom and then just meditate for a few minutes. She contends that public bathrooms are the only areas of sanctioned spaces for solace and respite. Practice what she calls “guerilla meditation” meaning that you counter the emotional overload by finding a private place to close your eyes to decompress and to lower your expectations for yourself. Focus on the exhalation to release all of the low energy vibrations and to get yourself less worried and at peace. Outside of meditation, she says recall your five most emotionally rattling experiences and figure out a plan to avoid them again. Learn to say “No.” As she says, “No” is a complete sentence and a complete response. No explanation beyond that is required. If you are overwhelmed in a social environment, have your own means of transportation to leave that situation before you become agitated or flustered. Before entering a crowd, eat a high-protein meal beforehand to ground you and sit at the periphery or aisle of the theatre or party, not the dead center. Carve out private space in your home where you can retreat when you are feeling overwhelmed.
Although I myself am very empathic with others, I do not share many of the negative attributes of this emotion but have some friends who now I recognize in them these characteristics. I think what is wonderful is that even if we are not a certain type of individual we can help recognize who is and not put that person in a vulnerable situation and also teach that person strategic mechanisms to avoid the situation to begin with.
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4 Responses to “Emotional Freedom Part 8 of 17: The Second Emotional Type, The Empath”
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Taking that last sentence and running with it, we can use your advice to better understand others’ perspective, reality. If we live or work with, say, an “intellectual”, it will serve us to remain aware of this, what it means for their interpretation of experiences, life.
This feels like review, reinforcement of previous blogs you’ve written. That’s good, best way to learn for most!
yes, i tend to repeat a few things just for reinforcement. thanks for the input nord!
I relate to this one, but also with the other one in that I think 24/7 just not without emotions…lol
Yeah, Dr. Lam, you seem like the empath type althought you are definitely a thinker!!
I didn’t think I shared the negative attributes of the empath either. I am usually pretty good now at telling people “no”. Most of the people I know already know that if I haven’t volunteered for something on my own accord, it’s probably not something that I’m wanting to take on. My problem is not getting worn out, it is wearing other people out…lol I’m working on it!
Hey, we can use all the reinforement of these great ideas as we can.
Thanks, Dr. Lam!
hi heather,
that is a good point that we are complex individuals and not just “an empath” or “an intellectual”. very good point.
sml