Leadership Gold Part 1 of 10: Relational not Positional Leadership
February 16, 2009 by dr. lam
I simply love John Maxwell. I have read many of his books but his book, The 21 Irrefutable Laws of Leadership, has been a cornerstone to the way that I think and practice my leadership. He wrote Leadership Gold at the age of 60, which he turned 2 years ago, summarizing many of his leadership principles. I would highly encourage anyone out there interested in leadership to read both books or many of his books on the subject. There is so much “gold” in this book that I have decided to mine the gold over the next 2 weeks so that I can treat this important subject with more depth that it rightfully deserves.
Now many of you out there may be thinking, “I’m not a leader.” I have no interest in reading these blogs, but YOU ARE! Everyone has the potential of being a leader. If you are a parent, you are a leader. If you have friends, you can lead them by being who you are. I like what Maxwell’s objective of what a leader is for, to help others (more about that on another day). I want to encourage, exhort, and inspire all of you to be daily leaders to all of those within your proximity and perhaps even for those who are only within a more remote reach. More importantly, you need to lead yourself first. Well, I’m getting ahead of myself. That is tomorrow’s blog.
His opening thoughts were that leaders should not be lonely at the top. They are if they do not have any relationship with those who work on their team. When leaders separate themselves from their team, they no longer have a team at all. That is why I encourage the idea of “Team LFP” rather than subordinates. I know every spouse, child, and animal name for everyone in my organization. I take personal interest in their personal lives. Not prying but asking and being open to receive anything that I can help them with in their personal lives if they need it. I encourage them to call me at home and on weekends if they need me for any reason. It is the same offer that I extend to my patients on whom I have worked. (I in return do not call them during their personal hours and spend very little time on the phone if I must absolutely call them at home.) My team works with me and not for me. They are my lifeblood and they are as vital a part of Team LFP as I am. I like what Maxwell said, “A team does not care about how much a leader knows, until it knows how much he cares.”
I like what John Maxwell said about a “self-made man” who came to him and said, “I did everything myself, and I made it myself.” Maxwell wanted to respond, “I’m sorry. You must have not accomplished much then.” There is no such thing as a self-made individual. Anything worth achieving is achieved as a team not in isolation. Don’t kid yourself please in thinking that you made it on your own. If you think that, please don’t bother talking to me. I don’t think you have the clarity of vision of what a leader really is or does.
I am still learning myself in becoming a leader. Last year, my staff despite being very happy with LFP was not happy enough. I did not project the right leadership mindset and was not as approachable. I am working on that, and I am now fortunately more approachable. It was not that I was aloof. My staff simply did not perceive me as being as part of the team as much as I should have been. In 2009, I have made the promise to my staff and to myself to be a more vigilant and present CEO of this company and of all the businesses that I own. I am working on that mission every day, and I have encouraged my staff to tell me when I fail in that mission. I would encourage whatever position you have in life (personal or professional) to look and see whether you inspire followership. I let go a staff member last year that had many good leadership skills but also very poor ones. Simply put, that individual had no followers. If you have no followers, you are not leading. To lead, you need 2 things: direction and followers. I hope we all can assume a level of personal leadership for those around us. This world is truly crying out for good leadership. I hope you can be the one to provide it.
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10 Responses to “Leadership Gold Part 1 of 10: Relational not Positional Leadership”
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Great food for thought here. Everybody must be leading somebody. I lead my kid. (prepare for soporific story, lol–hopefully not)
When she began school, I’d hug her at the bus door and remind, “Stick up for somebody today!” Then, when she returned I’d ask her who/how that happened that day. Sometimes she had a story and sometimes she’d say, “Mom, nobody needed sticking up for today.” We laugh about this, but she is now a junior high student who is very kind and well-respected among her peers. I know (from unbiased sources) that she will “take up” for you, if you need it.
My instinct was (and it was only that, not some huge plan) that if she learned early, she would be fine.
Dr. L, you’re a great leader. Love these concepts!
Great story. Great mother!
Dr. Lam, thank you for the book suggestion. I am going to have to check out some of his work.
I really admire you for not only wanting to be successful and respected in professional circles but also as an employer. That is really amazing. I know you will always be successful because not only do you truly care about your patients and their well being, but it’s clear you also care deeply about your staff. There is nothing better than going to work every day at a place you love – and I suspect your staff feels this way.
Thanks for sharing and reminding all of us that we can be leaders in our own way.
thanks tracy. my staff will bleed for me because i will first bleed for them. by doing so, we all bleed for our patients, who are the core of our life mission. thanks again.
When I think of being a leader, I think of stress! It’s not that I don’t have followers when I start a group or anything, but it’s the added responsibility that a leader has. I usually try to steer clear of taking on any leadership roles, unless my heart is truly in it. I much prefer to be an enthusiastic follower in most situations. I have to say that I have great respect for good leaders, because I know it is hard being in a leadership position. I also think that not only is being a good leader important, but I also believe that leaders need loyal support and encouragement from their followers, so being a good follower is also important in my opinion. In my own life, I’ve found it beneficial to strive to be a good leader or follower in whatever is best in the situation that I am in.
Dr. Lam, I liked it that you pointed out that everyone is a leader in certain aspects of their lives and that they can be a leader to themselves as well. That really made me want to freshen up on my leadership skills and embrace the idea of being a leader rather than run from it.
Dr. Lam, I can tell you are an awesome team leader! I am sure that your plastic surgery center runs smoothly, drama free, and your employees are passionate about their work and their boss! That’s a wonderful example!
You are also a good leader with your blogs, and consequently you have a growing number of fans!
I‘m looking forward to your other blogs on this topic.
thanks heather!!!! i look at leadership as an honor and a privilege. i like what maxwell said, with leadership we have the potential of helping others. in my position as blog writer, etc. i hope i am accomplishing that. so in a word, leadership for me is not about stress it is about FUN! thanks for sharing.
Hi Dr. Lam,
just came back from a couple of weeks in Asia and catching up on your blog. Another interesting topic!
I like Maxwell’s line you quote (“A team does not care…). I believe this doesn’t only hold true for what we usually think of as teams, but even for whole nations (a “team” of citizens). Why, for example, is your new president so popular? A big part of it is, in my opinion, that people feel he truly cares – about them, about the country, about fundamental issues like education and health care, etc. He may not know everything, but he comes across as honest, truthful, hard-working, and … caring. In addition, he admits that he cannot do it alone, and expects that not only he and his political team but every American citizen (i.e. every team member of the “American team”) needs to do their share as well. Now that, for me, is great leadership!
thanks vancouver. hope you had a great time in asia!
Sure did – thanks!
May I send you a PM about something sort of related to the trip?
sure!