Psycho-Cybernetics Part 14 of 30: S.U.C.C.E.S.S.
May 27, 2009 by dr. lam
Maltz admits that most people out there when ask to envision a goal and to allow their servo-mechanism to go into action cannot conceive of a goal or what a successful type person is. Accordingly, he has come up with a an acronym for success, which is s.u.c.c.e.s.s. to help you envision what a successful person looks like. Here goes:
Sense of direction- Maltz looks at humans as needing goals and striving for goals (as mentioned in the previous blogs). He envisions us like bicycles. When a bicycle is in motion, it moves forward. When it stops, it topples over. When moving with a sense of purpose and goal, we move ourselves forward. When we stop, we lose balance.
Understanding- Understanding begins with good communication — both communication to ourselves and from others. Communication of the truth allows us to attain proper understanding. He likens some leaders to Hitler’s bunker mentality when any messenger that would give him bad news would be shot dead. If we surround ourselves with yes men, we will never know the truth. Our lack of understanding of the truth will lead to our own demise. However, we must first begin with telling ourselves our own truth. We can try by telling ourselves the truth about our own limitation so that we can admit to this fault and move beyond it. This does not mean that we are that fault but we accept the action of making such a fault not by reliving it or accepting the condition of the fault. Rigorous honesty with ourselves and allowing others to be honest with us allows us to attain a measure of success that the person who lies to himself and only wants to hear flattering lies from others will never achieve.
Courage- Understanding should only be the first step. Understanding by itself is not enough. We must act, and that act is being courageous. Courageous to fail because we know that we are not the summation of our past failures, that we can fail in order to succeed. We can fail and remain not a failure. By taking risks and moving forward, we can achieve success. But we must first have a strong self image that allows us to fail without abjectly seeing ourselves as failures. Lee Iacocca said that decisiveness was the number one attribute he looked for in key people. We talked about that in a previous blog.
Charity (Compassion)- When we respect others, we can respect ourselves. Have you ever dealt with people who treat others as mere pawns in their own righteous game? Those individuals are living far from a real world view because people are worthy of respect and love as people. When we help other people with their problems and give them respect as humans then we can look inward at our ourselves with the same dignity and respect.
Esteem- Put the inner critic away. When we have a healthy self-image we don’t worry what others think. When Maltz was asked why a 65-year-old plastic surgeon in the twilight of his career would be updating an edition of his book that probably would not garner much reception, he simply replied he did not even think about what another person thought of him or the reception his book would have. He simply wrote it because he wanted and needed to do so. We need to chastise and chase out our inner demons that limit our own sense of self and not worry what others think of us (again more of that in a coming blog).
Self-Confidence- Success breeds success. We triumph by having even a small success that builds us in our self confidence. We forget past failures but focus on the successes that we have made to arrive at where we are today. However, the mind of the unsuccessful person focuses on all the bad decisions and past failures and fails to see the glory of past accomplishments. He is mired in his own lack of self confidence by reliving past failures.
Self-Acceptance- This means that we accept ourselves warts and all. It does not mean that we create a contrived self image that does not reflect who we are. Conversely, it also does not mean that we live in the squalor of our imperfections. As humans, we make mistakes, but we are not our mistakes. We can fail but we are not failures. Understanding the difference between the act and the condition can help us attain self-acceptance. The individual who focuses on his own imperfections to a fault typically does not have a good self image and lives in a state of self rejection. With a good self image, we can divorce the act from the condition and thereby live to take risks and live to live.
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Speaking of success…I’m really proud of my high-school mentoree, Kristine Nwosu, who shadowed me for the past few months and did a presentation on her experience with me. She also did an anti-drug campaign based on her learning about a reconstructive rhinoplasty case that i did for a cocaine saddled nose. At 16 years of age, she already knows she wants to be a surgeon. She is top of her class, an overachiever, and very intelligent. She came in twice during her spring break week! Here are the highlights from her talk last night for those who are interested:
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7 Responses to “Psycho-Cybernetics Part 14 of 30: S.U.C.C.E.S.S.”
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I love your mentoree!! She has such an important message and she did a brilliant job in her presentation. Particularly good ease for such a young woman, so lovely-she’s learning from the best!
LOVE IT!!!
thanks nord. i love her too. she is one of a kind! she will be a fantastic surgeon but a better human being! thanks for commenting!
Wow, Kristine!! You are so SMART!!!! That is awesome that you know what you want to be at such a young age and you are very mature for your age.
Well you certainly picked the right mentor!! Very good talk and very educational too! Good luck!
thanks nord and heather!
Love this blog post, Dr. Lam! Great wisdom here!!!! I’m going to try to memorize these.
Yes, nice to see Nord!!!
ok, there will be a quiz tomorrow.