Safety Series Part 1 of 4: Child Safety 1
April 28, 2009 by dr. lam
I just got back over the weekend from an intense, reinvigorating weekend in Houston at EO Texas Roundup, which I have attended since its inception the past 3 years. However, this year was the most amazing and rewarding that I have ever experienced with 14 lecturers and back-to-back social events that blew my mind including a yachting adventure and a dinner at the Ferrari dealership along with live bands almost every night including at the House of Blues Foundation Room. Most of the weekend was focused on business growth but Sunday’s sessions were dedicated to personal growth with a theme toward safety. We had some great speakers so I thought I would highlight some of the major themes that I learned that I could pass along to you.
Although I am not a parent yet, I think any parent would be focused on child safety from predators and how do we help our children remain safe. Even if you are not or no longer a parent of a small child, pass this blog along to anyone you know who is and would benefit from it. Who knows maybe we all can save just one life from molestation, abuse, or death.
This is such an important topic that I am pre-empting a larger series coming up next week. Plus, my tenant and buddy Michael Solberg is complaining my blog series are getting too long so before I get very in-depth next week at least I can appeal to him and my many faithful readers who desire a shorter blog series. Child safety is such a huge topic that I will divide it into two parts. Today we will cover some basics and tomorrow we will finish with Internet safety for kids, which is the most favorite fishing place for predators today. If you think your children are safe, they’re not.
Let’s begin with some of the scariest statistics. There are between 600,000 to 800,000 children who are reported missing each year in the United States. 80% are runaways; 10 to 15% are victims of family abductions; 5 to 10% are victims of “non-family or acquaintance” abductions; and only fewer than 1% are victims of random, stranger abductions. So before we talk about how to keep our children away from unknown predators, we first must begin at home. Are our children happy or prone to become a runaway? Once they have run away from home, they can only survive on the streets as prostitutes or drug dealers if they are underage. That is a sad story but a reality. Second, beware of a family member who tries to use a child as a pawn in a family squabble. This is actually the second most common cause of child abduction. One of the big things that I learned is that if you have a family friend or acquaintance who somehow is just too interested in your children compared with you, that may signal a pedophile. Do not put your child in the care of that person. Please reread the last 2 sentences if that is not sufficiently clear. Then reread it again: if someone is just too interested in your children, they may be a pedophile. Only 1% of victims are taken by strangers.
Now let’s focus on the preventable 1%. One thing that I learned was a great mnemonic: SAFE that we should have all of our kids learn and relearn.
Say- Say where you are going and with whom you are going. Always have your kids tell you where they are going.
Alone- Never allow your kids to go anywhere alone. They should always play with friends as there is safety with numbers. If they find themselves alone, encourage them to get into a group so that they are not alone.
Free/Fooling- Don’t let your kids take anything free. ROLE PLAY with them over and over so that they can respond in these situations and know when to recognize them. Most often a predator will ask the child for some kind of help. Tell your child that no adult would ask a child for any help to do anything. Children ask adults for help. Adults do not ask children. Also, never take anything free from an adult: no candies, puppies, balloons, etc.
Escape- Run, yell, and tell. Do not get close to the adult. Do not get into the car. Run and get help from a trusted adult.
One thing I learned from someone I met over the weekend which I would like to give credit to, Amy Power, is to have a code word with your child so that if your child asks the adult what the code word is and the adult does not know it, that adult is unsafe. Nice advice.
If your child becomes missing, do not spend 2 to 3 hours calling your neighbors and friends to see if your child is at their house. Call 911 and get help even outside of the police. It is a known fact that 76% of children are found dead if not found within the first 3 hours. There are ways to get help outside of the police. Police resources are simply not strong enough by themselves. The Amber Alert system was named after Amber Hagerman who was found too late in Texas in 1996 and now has become a part of a nationwide effort to catch predators and save children’s lives. Using an emergency broadcast system, the Amber Alert can be a critical way to participate in helping save others’ children but also yours when the time comes. For more information, contact www.amber-plan.net.
Also, know your neigbhors (www.nsopr.gov, www.sexoffender.com). Frighteningly the average sex offender abuses 117 children BEFORE HIS FIRST ARREST. Make sure that your children role play with you to avoid dangerous situations. Also, be aware of potential sex offenders in your area. Another great tip is make sure you keep up-to-date, clear photos of your child. Many times, the alert goes out with no accurate posting of your child’s photo. In the digital age, that is inexcusable. Know where your children’s medical and dental records are, and keep them in a place that you and your spouse will remember the location. Develop your family’s missing child response plan before you need it. Download the plan at
Tcftm.org/pdfs/missing_child_response_plan.pdf
I am proud of my association with the Collin County Children’s Advocacy Center and will be supporting them at this year’s auction on May 16. For more information on resources if your child is missing, contact the Texas Center for the Missing, and contact them immediately when your child is missing rather than waiting several hours (have this phone # ready: 713.599.0235). I hope none of us ever have this happen to our families. Preparation, training, and knowledge will help us avoid many potential pitfalls that may save our children’s lives, hearts, and bodies. If you have any resources, thoughts, or anything that you can share that could be helpful, please do so in these comments. Again, please share this blog with any friend or family member who has a child under 18 years of age. I believe this is one of the most important blogs that I have ever written.
Comments
13 Responses to “Safety Series Part 1 of 4: Child Safety 1”
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and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!
Wow, Dr. Lam, this is important information.
What I don’t get is why these sex offenders are allowed to live freely about and only spend very minimal time in jail. That’s a serious crime!
I’m glad that you wrote a blog on this. Too many parents don’t take the precautions that they need to with their kids. It freaks me out! Those are scary statistics!
thanks heather for the support. i heard this info over the weekend and knew that i had to write about it. i spent 3 hours sunday night after an exhausting weekend putting all this information together because i wanted a parent out there to read it and hopefully implement some of the info.
That is awesome, Dr. Lam! You did an excellent job putting all the information together. This is what parents need to know.
You ROCK, Dr. Lam!!
thanks again heather. your nice words really make my day!
trying to post, but doesn’t seem to work…
can’t figure out why my longer comment won’t post
well, that’s just weird. I was just trying to tell you about the “Block Parents Program” we have here, just in case you don’t have the same thing.
Maybe it’s the website link that prevents the posting, so just google “block parents” and it’ll come up.
yup, must have been the link…
you are posting fine.
Yes, Vancouver, I believe it has a scamming filter or something that doesn’t allow links. I had a problem with that before too. As long as you don’t submit any links it will comment.
i’ve had to approve some of heather’s comments because they are just too racy for this blog. no, just kidding. getting you back for the robot comment. haha.
(sticking my tongue out at you)
You scared me, Dr. Lam. Whew! lol
haha. just having fun!