Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 12 of 20: Living by Knowing When to Stop
April 14, 2009 by dr. lam
The 44th Verse:
Which means more to you,
you or your renown?
Which brings more to you,
you or what you own?
I say what you gain
is more trouble than what you lose.
Love is the fruit of sacrifice.
Wealth is the fruit of generosity.
A contented man is never disappointed.
He who knows when to stop is preserved from peril,
only thus can you endure long.
This verse is so dead-on right. Although I like nice things in life, I have worked more and mor not to think of such trivialities. What is the next thing I must have? Hopefully nothing. I think when we live our life solely or principally in pursuit of material things, we will never be satisfied. We are living in a condition of wanting, which as you know means desire but also the absence of having. By being satisfied, we no longer want or desire and feel contented.
The more material possessions we own, the more we begin to worry about losing them. I have certainly been a victim of this thinking and now am trying to just be simply happy and not worry about any need for material gain. Are you living your life simply in the pursuit of wanting more things? I like Bud Fox’s quote from 1987′s movie Wall Street: ”How many boats to water-ski behind do you need? When is it enough?” Do you spend most of your day talking about what you can buy or what you need more of? Do you think incessantly about what you can buy? Today, look at what you don’t need and what you are happy with.
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17 Responses to “Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 12 of 20: Living by Knowing When to Stop”
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I recall a previous blog post that covered this topic slightly. I think it was one on abundance or something. Anyhow, there is a lot of wisdom here. A desire to have more things only creates a desire for more. I think everyone has a desire to reach contentment. What is somewhat disillusioning though, is the idea that since one is not satisfied, that one needs more. But what the true problem is, is the person needs to come to an inward point of contentment. I think that once someone has reached a point of contentment, that this person will then be able to enjoy the things they have at an optimum level, and anything additional will then be icing on the cake. Just my take…
I think everyone has to come to a personal decision on what is enough. Of course, some people have more than others and individual people “need” different things to reflect their personal personalities, but each person still has to make the decision on what is enough for his/herself and what s/he will be content with. I really think that everyone has to come to grips with this at some point. Even Bill Gates has to draw the line somewhere..lol I won’t deny that I like nice things. I think this is part of my personality that I like nice things. There is nothing wrong with liking nice things, but what I need to make sure of is that the need to have nice things is not controlling my enjoyment in nice things.
Dr. Lam, I think that was a very good point you mentioned about the more stuff someone has, the more someone has to worry about losing it. Very good point. Also, with more stuff comes more responsibility to maintain it all. I work for a lot of really wealthy people and I can truly sense that half of all the stuff they have is all based on a mental need to have it and not an enjoyment out of having it. I know some people that have a huge indoor pool that is only there for looks..lol (Kind of like the pic in the blog.) They have to hire someone to make sure that it is kept up and all, but no, they don’t use it. Is this excessive?…perhaps so.
What I’ve found helpful is when I think I need something, I ask myself why I need it. If I can come up with a valid reason why I need something then I might allow myself to have it, but if it is for a reason that I have to have it to fulfill some mental void of feeling un-content, then I tell myself that I really don’t need whatever it is.
Great blog post, Dr. Lam!!! Thank you!
Girl! lol Good thing Dr. Lam is likely a speed reader–I read all these Amy Tan books, kind of indicate Asian moms sign ‘em up right at birth. (OH NO! That was not p.c.) I’ll check back, see if I’m in trouble and maybe think of something more intelligent to add.
LOL Hey, Nord..lol Can’t help it…lol Just tend to get carried away, that’s all, and whatever I type gets submited. Yikes, that’s a scary thought…
I sure hope you guys are speed readers or skimmers. Whatever floats your boat..
At least I’m not using up ink and trees…lol
haha guys. thanks for your input. i appreciate the thoughts, and yes, i’m a speed reader. off to 2.5 hours of brutal yoga!
I like ALL you write, all kidding aside. You two are kind, I left door wide open for brutal comeback-like, “Then we’ll see ya never!” (re: something intelligent to add)
Don’t let the door hit you on your way out, Nord…lol
lol Just Kidding!!!
Well!
Not so easily shaken, if I were, I’d call myself Fleur, not bold Nord!) Serious student I am, I ‘do not take it personally’.
I will straighten up, keep this place nice, inviting for others to join.
This verse is comprehensible (for me) up to “He who knows when to stop…” The literal is clear, but there must be more. ?? Why always peril? Yes, I remember (fondly, lol) Gordon Gecko-”Greed is good”. Why is a character like that remotely (admit it somebody) appealing? I remember liking his suits. (One thing I never need to Google: anything 80′s)
well, perhaps our buddy Lao-Tzu is prone to hyperbole. i think knowing when to stop has a much broader meaning. for example, Gautama Buddha who was a rich prince in India saw the beggar, a corpse, etc. and decided that he needed to leave his princely realm to become a completely ascetic individual. He spent 6 years in self-abnegation. He realized though that this was not the right way. However, nor was excess. He developed “the middle way” meaning that we should not necessarily be fully abstemious nor should we be a gluttonous hedonist.
life should be lived in moderation. so when you ask, is there a deeper meaning? yes. this is not just about wealth. it is much more about everything we do in life: too much exercise, too much food, too much sex, too much dependence on money, too much even religiosity (sorry if i offended anyone with any of the above), can lead to an imbalance. we need to live life with moderation and respect. so stop any excessive thing you are doing in your life. that is the deeper meaning. money is only a small fraction of the total compass which Lao-Tzu is writing about.
yes, i actually love the movie Wall Street. I own it in Blu-Ray and love that Talking Heads closing song. can’t get it out of my head. (i bet heather is going to google that because she is too young to remember it. she was probably born that year.) I love the Gordon Gekko character. That is why I have used that reference in my blogs more than once. The movie is just so outrageous that it is hard not to like it. We can love outrageous characters out there but not want to be them or should not want to be them. Yeah, his power suits from the 80s were cool. Have to admit too. How was that Heather for a long response? Okay, not quite your length but getting there.
Dr. Lam, I LOVE your responses!!!! That was a pretty long one too!!! The longer the merrier coming from you! I really liked you mentioning that this covers more things than just materialism and your list was excellent. I also liked it that you mentioned that someone can take religion to an extreme. My sister, Holly, just loaned me a book called, “faith that heals and faith that hurts”, it covers how religion can become a harmful thing when taken to extremes. Good point all round, Dr. Lam! I love your comments! I tend to be an extremist and really need to take on this mentality.
Oh, Dr. Lam, I’m am almost embarrassed to say that I did google that! I’ll have you to know that I was born in 1985 so I was crawling around then and in full existence…lol (don’t you love how “google” has become a verb?..lol) Oh, the real reason why I had to google that Gordon Gekko character was because I am completely movie illiterate, sad to say. Due to an extreme upbringing, I don’t watch TV or have hardly seen any movies dated from 1970 to the present. Odd I know. Extreme, yes.
Hey, Nord, I love your comments!!! Love your humor too!
fyi, i was just joking around heather. you are free to google all of that, obviously. just trying to be a bit fun with these responses. thought nord might appreciate that too.
Gee, Dr. Lam, I’m not that dense..lol That would be pretty sensitive of me if I took you seriously. I love your humor!
I am practicing this blog right now, because I am fighting an extreme addiction to my email account and the fact that I can’t get it to work right now!
i know you are not dense. just trying to be a sensitive guy. lol.
namaste
*THUMP*
*BANG*
My heart has failed.
we need an AED!