Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 13 of 20: Living Beyond Judgment
April 15, 2009 by dr. lam
The 49th Verse:
The sage has no fixed mind;
he is aware of the needs of others.
Those who are good he treats with goodness.
Those who are bad he also treats with goodness
because the nature of his being is good.
He is kind to the kind.
He is also kind to the unkind
because the nature of his being is kindness.
He is faithful to the faithful;
he is also faithful to the unfaithful.
The sage lives in harmony with all below heaven.
He sees everything as his own self;
he loves everyone as his own child.
All people are drawn to him.
He behaves like a little child.
This is one of my favorite verses. We are oftentimes programmed to react to others’ unkindness by returning the favor. We will love those who love us. But how do we respond to those who hate us? What happens in an argument or a conflict? Do we have to be right all the time? Do we judge others by names like “lazy, dishonest, stupid, foolish”? We live our lives too often in a reactionary mode to others’ thoughts and then try to defend ourselves by our own superlative ego. We look down on others around us because they do not conform to our own moral code.
Now how do you treat yourself? Do you also judge yourself by thinking, “Boy, I am a really bad person for doing this thing”? Or how about when you do something good, do you think: ”I am truly a holy person today for what I have done”? We oftentimes not only judge others but we append those same appellations of judgment upon ourselves so that we must be labeled. We should just be and not try to make sense of every small action we take. We do not need to fit into a self-righteous position nor do we need to fit into a self-abusive one.
Today take away your need to judge and only observe neutrally. That does not just mean for all of your acquaintances today but also of your own actions. Take the moral rigor that you impose on others and also on yourself away. Start to live with love and kindness toward yourself and others. Return unkindness with kindness. That also means how you treat yourself. Don’t beat yourself up but also don’t pat yourself on the back for being so great. Just be. Let go of all judgment to others and to yourself.
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11 Responses to “Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 13 of 20: Living Beyond Judgment”
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I love this blog post! Okay, I am going to think of this throughout the day and will report back tonight! Thanks, Dr. Lam!!
good job heather. go heather!
I love this blog post! Hey, I love that pic too, Dr. Lam!! I really try and I am not saying that I have succeeded here, but I try to be nonjudgmental to others. Of course I won’t always agree with someone, but it gets nowhere to cast judgment on someone else and I know this. I’ve found that the people that do the most judging, are the ones that have the finger pointing judgment back at themselves. If I am judging someone else, I better check to see where I am off.
Dr. Lam, I also really like it that you mentioned that sometimes we judge ourselves too. Sometimes I overly judge myself and this is not good either. Another good point you made…sometimes we let our ego get ahead of us, so that was a great point to make that going in either direction can get out of balance. Okay, I really like this balance of just being and not trying to label. There is a sense of freedom with this viewpoint.
Love it, Dr. Lam!! Thank you!!!
Where’s Nord today?
nord is hiding apparently. did you see vancouver is back in action? trying to catch up with all of these 13 blogs. AND OUR COMMENTS. she may need a little caffeine to make it through your comments. lol. thanks for the response. NORD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
LOL Love it, Dr. Lam!!!!! lol
I’ll have to read her comments as they are always insightful! Hey, glad you’re back, Vancouver!!!
Not hiding. Certainly not. Sometimes, if topic is too much, or needs digesting, rumination, I am mute.
It may be owing to my inherent simplicity–some of these concepts are challenging. Love the food for thought, though, always.
okay, nord came out at least to say hi!
How CUTE, Nord! Yeah, I agree that some of these concepts are challenging. Love all your comments.
Love your humor too!
yup – had my cup of coffee sitting right beside me while going through several days of blogs:)
Being open and accepting to everyone, and treating all with the same loving-kindness and compassion is not always easy, especially if someone was hurtful or unkind to us or one of our loved ones. But when you do, it creates a great sense of peace and love, and more often than not you will also have a positive impact on the other person (talking from some experience here).
Btw, I find it interesting that the sage is said to “behave like a little child” – quite true, isn’t it?
yes, it is true. children are beautiful because they do not possess the prejudices that we do. as ruiz says, they have not been domesticated yet. this blog is one of my favorites.