Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 19 of 20: Living Without Enemies
April 23, 2009 by dr. lam
The 69th Verse:
There is a saying among soldiers:
I dare not make the first move
but would rather play the guest;
I dare not advance an inch
but would rather withdraw a foot.
This is called
going forward without advancing,
pushing back without using weapons.
There is no greater misfortune
than feeling “I have an enemy”;
for when “I” and “enemy” exist together,
there is no room left for my treasure.
Thus, when two opponents meet,
the one without an enemy
will surely triumph.
When armies are evenly matched,
the one with compassion wins.
Remember that when we talked a few weeks ago that when we hurt others, we essentially hurt ourselves. When we help others, we will in turn help ourselves. As Lao-Tzu states “for when “I” and “enemy” exist together, there is no room left for my treasure.” Our treasure is our peace of mind and connection with the Tao. When we perceive enemies all around us, we cannot live in a peaceful state. We are constantly embattled, embroiled, and emblazoned with this combative atmosphere. Once we let go of the idea that we have ANY enemies, we can seek our victory over our “enemies” by achieving a deep-seated peace.
Give up the concept that we have enemies in front of us, whether personal or professional. Give up the need to constantly fight with another. Just work on yourself for personal/professional growth. We need not concern ourselves with the enemy or perceive that individual as such. Dyer talks about in athletic competition, we should look at our opponent as a facilitator for our own way to achieve victory. We can look at the other person as a vehicle for that gain if and only if that person is performing at his or her best. It can bring us to new heights. When we stop looking at the other side of the net, so to speak, as an adversary but instead as a colleague to drive us forward, then we can experience true peace and true victory. Let all your ideas of an external enemy fall away. See all those around you as emanating from the same original source of the universe. Let go of judgment, hatred, and antagonism.
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4 Responses to “Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 19 of 20: Living Without Enemies”
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Sorry, Dr. Lam, I don’t have anything too brilliant to add today. I really like all your points here. I even like the way to perceive competitors.
I guess I don’t really have the mentality of an “enemy”, as someone being an entire enemy. I may strongly disagree with someone on a particular thing, but I usually keep it pertained to that particular area of disagreement and don’t tend to label an individual as an all around “enemy”.
Where is the great intellectual Nord? Golly, Nord, at least stick your bright head in here and say, “hi”. And this goes for Vancouver too!
Great blog post, Dr. Lam!
hi heather,
that is fine. we don’t need brilliance or relevance every day. nord appears to be at rest. vancouver has been playing catch up and she has been writing comments almost every day on previous blogs so i thank her for that. for anyone out there that is reading my blogs and/or commenting. thanks!
namaste,
sml
This verse made me think of a passage I read in the Dalai Lama’s book “An open heart”, and I am taking the liberty to cite it here:
“When we are faced with an enemy, a person or group of people wishing us harm, we can view this as an opportunity to develop patience and tolerance. We need these qualities; they are useful to us. And the only occasion we have to develop them is when we are challenged by an enemy. So, from this point of view, our enemy is our guru, our teacher. Irrespective of their motivation, from our point of view enemies are very beneficial, a blessing.”
Essentially, this goes back to making a choice again, namely the choice of viewing this so-called enemy as a “blessing” (in disguise, maybe, but still a blessing) and an opportunity to be compassionate and to grow. You’d think that by now mankind would have figured out that creating phantom enemies in our minds and using violence to fight these phantoms does not lead anywhere. This holds true for small interpersonal situations, such as fighting with a colleague as well as big international ones, such as war between nations (remember the song “war” and the line: “war, what is it good for? Absolutely nothing”? They were right!). I really believe that the only way to true (inner and outer) peace is through loving-kindness and compassion towards all of mankind. Antagonism never works.
I have done exactly as you have said Vancouver. I really love that quote. It is an immensely insightful quote and summarizes this passage very well with a different angle. I appreciate your taking the time to share it.