Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 3 of 20: Living Humility
April 1, 2009 by dr. lam
The 9th Verse of the Tao Te Ching:
To keep on filling
is not as good as stopping.
Overfilled, the cupped hands drip,
better to stop pouring.
Sharpen a blade too much
and its edge will soon be lost.
Fill your house with jade and gold
and it brings insecurity.
Puff yourself with honor and pride
and no one can save you from a fall.
Retire when the work is done;
this is the way of heaven.
I truly love the idea behind this verse. It tells us that enough is enough. Hording more acquisitions for the sake of doing so only leads to fear, insecurity, and pride. It leads to fearing the loss of these acquired goods that can in turn lead us to misery. I also like how Dyer focuses on eating. I have eaten many times after I was sated only later to regret it both in terms of how I felt afterward and the ineluctable weight gain thereafter. I am constantly reminded of the joy of eating just enough, wanting just enough, and being contented with everything.
How do I reconcile all of this with plastic surgery? Easily. I have many individuals who are obsessed with plastic surgery or become so. They know that I will only engage in things that will help them look and feel better about themselves but not in excessive things that waste money and create unchecked boundaries of ongoing want. In fact, I help guide them to what would be the best thing to make their external selves a reflection of their inner selves. We have talked about that in previous blogs. I am in love with the creative work in facial cosmetic enhancement because done in moderation and with skill and artistry, you can create a beauty that lovingly radiates to all those in their proximity.
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34 Responses to “Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 3 of 20: Living Humility”
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Gave this one several minutes to sink in. Drank a gallon (I may underestimate) of Colombian coffee and simply pondered what does this tell me, what is the kernel here for me. (I posit it is different kernel for each of us.)
When we get all that jade and gold, it also takes maintenance. I think I must be careful to discern just how much of my finite time I wish to dedicate to maintaining ANYthing I think I “really want!” or “need”. My DH and I have worked so hard and coming into midlife, we’ve been successful in checking several things off the proverbial list. In so doing, we’ve ended up a great deal more maintenance, concomittant time that requires–or robs, as is sometimes the case. Must really dedicate thought to this concept!!!!!
Excellent, salient inspiration here as usual!! (But hard, too. How ’bout another bespoke suit entry, stat! lol I liked that stuff, too!) J/K, it’s good to be challenged to think a little.
concomitant (I cringe at my spelling mistakes.)
thanks nord. yes, i love clothing. you know that. i have to work on my own “obsession”. fortunately, i now rarely buy things. i only own one bespoke suit. i try not to think of hording more. it is a bad thing. i just enjoy quality design and craftsmanship but not sit here constantly contemplating, “what can i buy next?” i am truly contented with everything i have and do not really desire to own more and more. work in progress like all of you. we are in it together!
Hey, Nord, it sounds like you need to lay off the coffee..lol jk
This is a really good blog post. Moderation is key. It is very hard though for me being an extremist in a lot of things to find this fine line. I tend to go to extremes just by nature. I have recently tried to step back and look at the entire picture of things to get a more well rounded perspective. It took me a while to understand that there is such a thing as too much of a good thing, where it become something bad. I think people that strive for perfection tend to get a warped view of things because they are striving for something that is in most cases unobtainable and they are not satisfied with anything “less”, which causes them to be unsatisfied and to seek more. Just my though… Hey, Dr. Lam, I really liked it that you mentioned that you help your patients find the right perspective on plastic surgery, that is awesome!
Don’t worry, Nord, I had to look that word up in the dictionary..lol
Oh, Nord that was a great point about considering what is needed and the maintenance required and rather it‘s worth it or not. When I was a kid, I remember all of us kids (siblings and I) for some odd reason wanted a fish tank. Of course we didn’t think about the maintenance required. I remember spending several weekends having to clean that tank out…not something that was worth it to me.
Now I try to weight things out as to whether it is worth the effort required. Sometimes things look great and we want them, but then considering if it is worth the maintenance required is how to better determine rather something is really wanted. It keeps things in balance. So that was a really good point you made!
Heather! Lay off coffee?! No can do.
I just brainstormed a shortlist of “stuff” I require, as if someone could force me to choose quickly only most essential. The result was considerably shorter than my Barbie Dream Life, pretty spartan.
Try that (if you have moment)-try to pick the top 10 ‘things’ you think you’d choose over everything. (my results, incl. coffee machine, 8 pair of excellent boots and my car! I have rather poor priorities) I am J/K!! (Heather, you MAY be right, re: coffee.)
To be sure, I mean STUFF, not like I’d choose boots over my family or anything!
my iPhone would definitely be in my top ten things considering it covers so much. my macbook air would be up there too, and a clean pair of underwear. just joking!
oh, yes, caffeine is a definite must. love the taste, the smell, and the feeling!
I never did fall in love with coffee. I guess coffee to me is a flavoring, like in cappuccino to augment the sugar..lol I will grant that it smells really nice though.
I’ll have you all to know that I am now officially off of my diet Dr. Pepper addiction, so I am now off caffeine. Just to clear any bizarre impressions that you might have of me as being a soda addict…lol I am one no more! I gave it up for Lent…thought I’d partake in that good ol’ catholic tradition at this time of year.
Nord, I actually had to practice that skill recently while on my trip to visit my grandparents. Packing! What to bring? Of course, makeup was on my number one priority list..lol I seriously have five caboodles that contain makeup (all in precise order; I’m really picky about my stuff!). And then of course clothes and all my bath supplies. Well I think I was able to compact all my stuff down to four suitcases for the trip..lol My family had a fit about it and I was made fun of the entire trip being called, “high maintenance”, but what was actually funny was everyone was asking me for this or that, because they had forgotten to pack half their things, and they were all relying on me to have brought everything, which I did of course. I sure felt like keeping it all to myself though just to give them what for.
Oh, and I was the first ready half the time, so who really was high maintenance?
I think that if it boiled down to it and I had to choose, as long as I had my makeup, my toothpaste/ toothbrush, and a shower, I’d be happy. I’ll give my cell phone up any day!
Dr. Lam, you crack me up!
man, i have to put makeup on when I go on TV. i can’t stand it!!! it feels so itchy, and i want to tear it off. i wore boots for this western event last Christmas, and even with a slight heel my toes were killing me. kudos to women who can do all that. as a guy, i can’t. my face is feeling already itchy thinking of the makeup i had to wear! lol.
I can’t believe our doctor said under****. LOL I was actually thinking of that issue-I kind of thought foundations (antiquated term for ladies’ such items) should be a given, a freebie. I won’t live in a world where they aren’t.
This blog topic serves to help us consider our attachments to things. Very important.
Oh, Heather-you’re too young and pretty for all that make-up. Aim for consistent SUNSCREEN application, please!! Trust here, you’ll be glad you did.
haha. yes, SPF!
Believe me I stay out of the sun, Nord. Thanks for warning me. I use that sunless tanner spray and it works okay, so I still maintain at least somewhat of a tanned look. People always wonder how I get these sudden tans never going in the sun. Actually I used to go to the tanning salon a couple years back and this lady got on my case big time about it. What was really funny though, and I’ll always remember it was she was smoking a cigarette at the time she was balling me out..lol I said, “Hey, look at you puffing away, and telling me to quite tanning!” Even she had to admit that was a bit ironic..lol We laughed about it…but her warning worked and I quite tanning all thanks to her for the warning. Thanks, Nord, for the warning too. I think there is a lot of peer pressure to look tan and young people don’t realize all the consequences. I just hope that I haven’t done any damage thus far.
Oh, hey, Nord, believe me I need makeup!!…just take my word for it!..lol I don’t even go out to get the mail without my makeup on..lol I feel practically naked without it..lol It’s the ultimate necessity!
That is really funny, Dr. Lam!!! I actually am somewhat hooked to wearing heels, I even wear them around the house, kind of weird I know!
quit*
what does the last comment mean? quit*?
oh, i see, quit removing the “e”. sorry.
LOL Heather. I doubt you need it, that’s funny thing about youth. I wore more make-up in my 20′s, I think I understand. I don’t worry about make-up now, save lipstick/stain. I went out with NO make-up all day yesterday–I figure, when you can no longer wow them, scare the cra* out of them!!!
J/K. My face looks good w/o it because someone resurfaced it brilliantly…..now I am much better about sunscreen. I am glad you’re smart and tend to it now, rather than play catch-up later.
my favorite line from my mom after fat grafting is that she forgot how to put makeup on. she did not need to cover little flaws here or there because there were none left.
Dr. L, I keep forgetting to tell you….every time I see a video/photo on your site or YouTube that incl. your mom, I can’t get over how beautiful she looks, her eyes…I had pleasure of seeing old photos of her (I was in the office one day when she had a bunch of old photos around and she shared them with me..)anyway, the work you did restored that gorgeous femme fatale in the eyes, especially. She really has such intelligent eyes, if that makes sense. So beautiful.
thanks! this has become the nord-heather-lambo show now. where is vancouver and m/a?
I think they’re shopping. ;0
They’ll be back.
LOLOL, Nord, you are so hilarious!!!!
That’s really awesome, Dr. Lam, that you got your mom all fixed up so she doesn’t need makeup. That shows some serious talent there!
Yes Nord, I think I saw a picture of Dr. Lam’s mom and she looks great!!!
Totally, where are they? Hey, blog buddies, we miss you guys!
Dr. Lam, I bet you are having a hard time keeping up with Nord and me here.
hehe
nope. very easy.
Gratuitous post just to bump the #s.
Good night-sweet dreams of contentedness (and p.s., too).
(Speaking of p.s., how bad is this? I have Beatles’ “P.S. I Love You” on iPod and when I see it now, I think– plastic surgery I love you.)
GN
how about we change that to “plastic surgeon”? haha. good night!
Oh thanks. Thanks a lot. Now you know that’s what I’ll see.
lol. sorry to screw with your brain!
Hey, I think we beat the record on this post!
yeah!
moi – out shopping??? Naaah! I’m one of these few people in the world who doesn’t enjoy this activity at all, I’m afraid. All that trying to find what you may like, and when you finally find something, it doesn’t fit. Same with shoes – they seem to fit, and then later they’ve magically shrunk and feel too tight. I do like wearing a nice piece of clothing and nice shoes – just don’t like the shopping part. Got to hire a personal shopper:)
Anyway, love that verse, and I completely agree everyone’s thought on it. I’ll try to chime in a bit more regularly again. Bye for now!
thanks vancouver. lol.