Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 7 of 20: Living without Excess
April 7, 2009 by dr. lam
The 24th Verse:
If you stand on tiptoe, you cannot stand firmly.
If you take long steps, you cannot walk far.
Showing off does not reveal enlightenment.
Boasting will not produce accomplishment.
He who is self-righteous is not respected.
He who brags will not endure.
All these ways of acting are odious, distasteful.
They are superfluous excesses.
They are like a pain in the stomach,
a tumor in the body.
When walking the path of the Tao,
this is the very stuff that must be
uprooted, thrown out, and left behind.
Too often we live with too much pride and arrogance. We must feel that we are superior over others and live life with selfish disregard for all those around us. Do you live most of your day only looking at yourself? Are you overly focused on your own successes, trophies, goals, and gains? Have you thanked someone around you recently for being who they are in your life and contributing to this world?
Many of the books that I read must invariably decry plastic surgery as an excess. Obviously, I work with this paradox in which I talk about internal self-actualization and also disregard to ego. Perhaps that is ultimately a Tao principle of holding a paradox in your mind. However, I simply do not see it as a paradox. As I have repeatedly stated, plastic surgery done correctly and with correct moderation and perspective can change one’s life in a profound and tangible way. However, when we seek plastic surgery to fulfill an internal want that is absent then we are in trouble. I look at plastic surgery as a method for providing congruity between what we see in the mirror as what we feel in our heart. But when body dysmorphic disorder or overly obsessing over a body part leads to social crippling then we have crossed that fine line.
It is important that when we attain our own enlightenment that acquisition and acquisition and acquisition of material goods and status not be the motivating factor or dominating factor in our life. These blogs are meant to put you into a peaceful sense of gratitude for where you are and not where you need to be. Being a man of ambition almost my entire life, it has been a profound shift in my own paradigm not constantly to want and desire and be insatiable in my appetite for wanting more. Today I truly cherish where I am and what I have and am not in a desirous mood for this or that, certainly not as much as I did in the past.
Today it would be great if you could offer your gratitude (yes, a fourth blog indirectly on this important subject today) for where you are but even as importantly offer that gratitude for someone near you for who they are and how special they are to you. Offer that gratitude to someone you know or even you don’t know that well today.
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4 Responses to “Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 7 of 20: Living without Excess”
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I hope I am not self centered. I don’t think I am though. I really do care about other people and don’t do things for personal gain, and in fact, I don’t view the world like that at all.
I always thank people for being who they are and for their unique contributions to the world. I also notice the things that are unique about people give credit where it’s due.
Dr. Lam, thank you for all your wonderful contributions to the world and for being who you are! You are awesome! And you know you are too.
Thanks all you blog buddies for all your wonderful comments! You guys are awesome too! I bet you guys know you are too. 
Yikes! I hope I don’t have body dysmorphic disorder. I’m kind of socially crippled because of an obsession over my nose and chin. I wear hairstyles that cover up my profile and only look people straight on..lol I hope I haven’t developed something here, but what I see in the mirror is not what I feel in my heart. I try not to have it take too much of a toll on my self-esteem though, but I won’t deny that I am always consciously, painfully aware of what I would like to look like, versus what I look like.
Dr. Lam, let me just tell you that I think you have the right balance with the whole plastic surgery concept. A really, really good balance actually, and this is really good, because you can help your patients develop the right balance with it.
Oh, Dr. Lam, I really like it that you mentioned that these blogs are supposed to help us reach a peaceful sense of gratitude for where we are and not where we need to be. I’m working on it!
Okay, that is really good idea to offer gratitude to people around us. I am going to do this!
thanks heather. we all can get better but we are already “perfect” in many ways as part of our creation and a reflection of our Creator. i have seen your chin and nose, and they look good to me! i am also so grateful for all of my great buddies on this fun life’s journey!
Yeah, that perfect perception of oneself as you mentioned a few weeks ago in one of your blogs is the IDEAL self perception, Dr. Lam. I really really like that viewpoint. Working on it, yes, but there, no.
I think that if I strive to think of the positive things about myself instead of focusing on the negatives that this will allow me to be able to view myself as excellent in my own creation. I think I also need to get away from the idea that I have to change certain things about myself in order to accept myself as “perfect”.
I’m working on all this. I certainly don’t have it all together and I certainly can’t pretend that I do.
Oh, btw, I was able to offer gratitude to several people today! I think it made them feel really good, so thank you, Dr. Lam, for suggesting that we do this!!
namaste!