The Mastery of Love Part 2 of 10: Emotional Ping-Pong
March 17, 2009 by dr. lam
We return again to our early childhood when we only knew love and happiness before our period of domestication by society began. When we were children we would run and play and only see running and playing as natural. However, in our household, the ideas of justice and injustice began to develop from our parents and we had to act in certain conforming ways. When we were in the presence of someone who was angry, we tried to flee. When we were attacked, we shriveled up. We tried to escape these negative emotions. However, the more we developed in society, the more that we began to have sores show up on our emotional body that at the slightest provocation would be painful to the touch. We allowed those wounds to develop and we returned the favor. When we started to build up pain from someone touching our wounds, we started to want to dish it out and release our emotional pain. When someone else would react to our emotional pain, they would then give it back to us.
Picture this scenario, the wife returns home early to wait for her husband who is running late. Inside she is angry at him so she releases a volley of fuming hatred. The husband is attacked and feels the emotional sting that is present and must then angrily call out a weakness of his wife, usually unjustified. Also, that attack could be leveled at a past grievance that lingers in his heart. This interchange continues to mount until both individuals shut down in anger, frustration, fear, and hatred. This emotional ping-pong is a typical scenario that plagues many households, relationships, friendships, and business colleagues. When we ourselves are filled with emotional poison, we will invariably need to unload it on another. That pain and suffering will be easily returned to us, which only continues to escalate. We need to work on cleaning ourselves of our own emotional poison (hatred, fear and anxiety) so that we do not return the volley and so that we do not reach a point of no return.
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4 Responses to “The Mastery of Love Part 2 of 10: Emotional Ping-Pong”
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This is absolutely true.
I think that if people are in tune with their emotions, and deal with emotional pain when it is felt, instead of ignoring it, this will free them from carrying past grievances in their hearts and resorting to those when upset. But I think following the four agreements is probably a better way to keep from having ping pong emotions in the first place. Recalling past blogs…
This was a really good point to bring up!
Thanks, Dr. Lam! Happy St. Patrick’s Day!!
thanks heather. when someone creates negative energy, i just break the negative energy by instilling calm and moving toward positivity. we all need calm hearts and calm minds. today my patient who flew in from europe for fat transfer was very nervous so i calmed him down with my voice and with my energy. it was great to bring him into alignment with my calming energy. i extend my positive energy and love to all of my faithful readers. thanks again for contributing. i really appreciate it! Happy St. Paddy’s. Even though I am wearing green, I am too tired after this long day to go out and do anything. Hope all of you have a great and fun St. Paddy’s! Interestingly, I saw on the Today Show that Guinness is celebrating 250 years this year. That is really cool!
Wow, that is a really good method to use when approaching someone who is negative. You have this natural way of having a positive affect on people.
Dr. Lam, I hope you have a massage session scheduled this week. It sure sounds like you need one!
That is cool that this is Guinness’s 250 year celebration.
I got pinched today, even though I was wearing green!! I thought wearing green was supposed to ensure safety…lol
Dr. Lam, you are a totally awesome person!!!
thanks. that is the one thing that i have failed to do this week. things have been crazy with my spa, etc. but looking much smoother now. thanks again for commenting!