Excuses Begone! Part 12 of 12: What’s the Payoff?
October 13, 2009 by dr. lam
We are creatures that are motivated by reward. Well, what is the reward for living in our own self-imposed, restricted world view? What is the reward for letting that go? Dyer talks about how he quit smoking. He always felt the reward for smoking was the pleasure of doing so, or so he told himself. He began to substitute that reward system with the dignity of not doing it so that he would save his health and kick a disgusting habit. When he replaced a new reward system, he could see an escape from his own trap.
Many times our reward system is safety. We feel safe not to engage in a new behavior because it is risky, dangerous. Excuses allow us to blame others for our own faults. “I can’t afford it” may mean “You buy it for me, or “Because you are rich that is why you succeed. I am just poor.” We accept our limitations because it is far easier not to accept the truth of our own responsibility. We blame others for our inadequacies rather than taking ownership. Do something that feels unsafe. Get out of your own safety habits. Take an unplanned vacation. Where a piece of clothing that you would not normally do. When we start to do something that feels unsafe (but that would not jeopardize our lives!), we can begin to feel how it feels to do something bold, which is typically very good.
Another way to let our guard down is to let go of ego. The way that we conduct ourselves is almost always in a semi-combative attitude with another. We must win. We must be right. We must be stronger. All of these positions come from ego. When you get into a discussion, start with, “Oh, you are right about that.” What? You conceded? Yes. Once that happens, there is peace. Without positions, we let our egos go. Let go of your ego, explore how to get out of your ego by thinking of a bold move, and allow yourself the freedom to be free of excuses by looking at what you would gain if you changed your paradigm.
I hope you have enjoyed this series of blogs that celebrate the teachings of Dr. Wayne Dyer. We all have a lot to learn including me, and I appreciate your taking this journey with me of life, love, peace, and joy!
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11 Responses to “Excuses Begone! Part 12 of 12: What’s the Payoff?”
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That is a very interesting point about a reward system. I think though that sometimes our “reward” is subconscious. Just thinking out loud. I’ll be contemplating that thought.
Great point there about doing something that is bold and good that sort of gets us out of our comfort zone.
I love these blogs that are focused on changing our paradigms! Great and thanks, Dr. Lam!!!
thanks heather. glad that you liked this series. tomorrow is a new series. what could it be?
Dr. Lam!! My curiosity is killing me!!!! I won’t be able to sleep tonight, if I don’t know.
I wanna know!!! lol
sleep tight! lol.
Hey, I’m seriously not going to be able to sleep here! This is pretty serious!
Meanie!!!
ok, i’ll give you a hint. it is about frogs. GN.
Okay, well, you can count on me dreaming about frogs tonight…lol Lovely! lol
Okay, now my curiosity is even more on fire!