Excuses Begone! Part 8 of 12: Passion and Compassion
October 6, 2009 by dr. lam
I have combined two chapters into one here. I will dwell more on compassion than passion because it is a larger topic for discussion. Passion concerns that innate, burning enthusiasm of how we face life that can override doubts, fears, and judgment. When we live life passionately, we live by our own convictions that overshadow our own irrational fears and the irrational fear imposed by others. If you recall, I had a patient ask me why my hair transplantation was better than someone else’s. So I went through every detail of the procedure, but I said after about 10 minutes that everything I do can be summarized with a simple word, “Passion.” When you love what you do, then your work shows. I like to say, “Start and end with passion,” then there are no room for excuses.
For some of my longstanding blog followers, you will remember a series of blogs on compassion from the Dalai Lama’s The Art of Happiness. We now explore that concept more in detail in the following stories:
A woman kneeling by a river encountered a lustrous, precious stone. She held it up in her hands in admiration and then stowed it away in her knapsack for safekeeping. A starving man meandered near the river and spied the woman. He asked desperately, “Would you have any food to spare me please for I have not eaten in three days.” The woman opened her knapsack to give him a crust of bread. The man glimpsed the precious stone in the bag and wished he had the stone that would solve all of his woes, provide him with security, and offer him enough food to sustain him. He asked the woman, “Could I please have that stone?” The woman gleefully reached into the sack and handed her stone over to the man. The man in astonishment took the stone and scurried away. Several days later, the man returned to the river to give the stone back to the woman. The woman looked quizzically at the man. He then explained, “I do not want the stone but I would like to have instead what you have that allowed you to give that stone away.” That is compassion. When all that the woman saw was a man in need more than she was and she gave that stone away without thinking, she practiced profound compassion.
Another story of compassion that Dyer tells is Leo Tolstoy’s Three Questions. In this story a king wants to succeed and believes he can do so if he could have three questions answered: 1) when is the best time to take action, 2) who are the most important people to interact with, and 3) what is the most important action to take. He enlisted the help of many learned men who came to his kingdom in hope of a mighty prize for their efforts. Each gave his own opinion that conflicted with another’s, and the king ultimately refused all these learned insights because he did not agree with any of them.
Frustrated, the king ventured out into the forest in search of a famously wise hermit. He shed his royal vestments and journeyed unkempt, unshaven, and in beggar’s clothing. Upon arriving, he asked the hermit his three questions. The hermit refused answer but instead went outside to tend the garden. Seeing that this frail man was in need of assistance, the king took over the duty of pulling out the weeds and planting the vegetables. After a few hours, the king asked the hermit the same questions again but received another mute response.
Just then, the king and the hermit encountered a man bleeding profusely from the abdomen from a sword wound. They rushed him into the house, held pressure over the wound, bandaged him, and gave him food and water until he was fully revived. The man said to the king, “I heard that you king were coming out alone by horse to see this hermit so I intended to come to kill you since you executed my brother and stole my property. Not having returned back to the forest, I waited for you but then I encountered your bodyguards who sliced my belly, and you saved me. For that, I have given up revenge and will be your servant for life.” The king replied, “I am so sorry for my past actions. You shall have your property back, and I shall send my servants and physicians to tend to you until you are fully well again.”
The king then asked the hermit again to answer his three questions. The hermit responded that the answer was already given. The king looked befuddled. The hermit replied, “When you saw me, you had pity for me so you helped me tend my garden. If you had not done that, you would have returned earlier via the forest and would have been killed by the man whom we saved. When you saw the man in trouble, you helped the man and by doing so have restored peace and have given the chance for a man to reconcile with you. So to answer your question, the best time to act is now. The most important person to be with is the one you are with now and no one else. You must treat that person with as much compassion and love as possible. And the best actions to take are ones that help your fellow brother.”
When we live in compassion for others, we start to see God. When we live to help and to give, we gain so much more. Excuses go away by themselves when we begin to give. I had a young teenage man who had come to me spurned by a woman and who desired plastic surgery to restore his self-image. He came to me after 5 pm unscheduled, and I was on the way out the door. I listened to his problems and recommended that he read the 4 Agreements and the Power of Now, and I said the best way to get him out of his funk is to start with an act of compassion. Give of yourself to someone else and you will reap far greater rewards. Our excuses go when we start and end with compassion.
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9 Responses to “Excuses Begone! Part 8 of 12: Passion and Compassion”
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Wonderful blog here! I love your saying, “Start and end with passion, then there are no room for excuses.” Actually, in your blog last Friday, it had addressed the importance of catching excuses that come up that are not in alignment with what we really want to do, and that there has to be an alignment of what we want and what we desire in order to accomplish a goal, and that we shouldn’t let fear of what others think and excuses get in the way. Well, I got to thinking about that, and understand that it is important to not allow excuses that would hinder one from accomplishing a goal, but concluded that there was a missing ingredient. Well, over the weekend I got to thinking about it (see I take your blogs seriously, Dr. Lam!) and contemplated that the missing ingredient was passion. Passion was the underlying thing that would rid a person of excuses and fear, so that when passion was present, there would be no need to deal with excuses and fear, in fact, those wouldn’t even get in the way. I’ve also contemplated that passion is the opposite of forcing, and that might be why forcing things never works. Well, I left off there. Since, passion is an innate, burning enthusiasm (as you described, Dr. Lam), and it is the underlying ingredient to aligning what we want and what we desire to accomplish goals, then how does one get it, if it is not present? I left off here with my thoughts, because I haven’t figured that out yet, and it’s really pointless to conclude that passion is the underlying ingredient, when there is no known way to produce it. Dr. Lam, you are a VERY passionate person. I think you get the gold medal.
It seems like you are passionate about everything. Well, since passion is what we all should be aiming for, how does someone go about getting it, if it is not present? Let’s say the person really wants to be passionate about something (maybe something in particular) and s/he just doesn’t have that innate fire? What is the formula for passion? Only you would know, Dr. Lam. 
Oh Goody! I love stories!!!
Great stories about compassion! I like how you mentioned that our world is what we make of it in the other blog post and how you mentioned that changing our focus to having compassion, changes our viewpoint. Our excuses go away. Hmm, I wonder if there is some sort of underlying principle between compassion and passion. Yikes, my analytical mind! I’ve have to contemplate that one. Thanks, Dr. Lam!!
sometimes if you don’t have a passion directly, follow compassion and that can sometimes bring you to passion. for example, plastic surgery is a passion of mine but it has now become so because it is my vehicle to express compassion to others. if you don’t have an obvious passion (which is ok since things come to us when the time is right. yes, don’t force), think about service to other human beings. with that “compassion”, you can sometimes find your passion. forget yourself for a moment and focus on others. when you see others as your goal, your passion will be revealed in its due time.
That is a very intriguing and brilliant input. I have never contemplated that before and the more I think about it, the more I realize that it is very true in a lot of cases. I also think that passion can result from creativity. I’ll be thinking about this and all the ways that passion can be created. Wow, Dr. Lam, that was just a brilliant viewpoint!!! Can I frame that quote? lol
frame away. also, just think of things that make you excited. for instance, i could talk about faces until you want to die. that is my passion. i could talk about art, food, travel, blogs, until you want me to shut up. find out what makes you excited in life. that is another way!
GREAT advice!!! It’s not that I’m not passionate about things in life, just that I can’t get passionate about the things that I want to be passionate about…lol I’m a weird case; I know…lol Like, I only exercise because it is required. I still consistently work out but I’m not passionate about it…lol Other things too.
yes, one word: yoga.
lol