Happiness Hypothesis Part 6 of 10: Finding Flow

May 14, 2010 by dr. lam

flow-1 Yesterday we focused on the C of the formula for happiness. Today we will focus on the V. Is V really all about detachment as the Buddhists believe or is it something else? Maybe a little of that and a little of the opposite.

Haidt says that the V can be made up of what Martin Seligman calls “pleasures and gratifications.” Pleasures are things that bring in particular bodily pleasure like food and sex. But too much of either, and you reach satiety. If you listen to your favorite CD 15 times in a row, it no longer becomes that special.

Gratifications are things in which you can lose your self-consciousness in and become so immersed that you lose all sense of time and effort. This happens oftentimes when someone is engaged in pursuit of what he or she loves to do. Whereas pleasures must be punctuated, gratification need not be as tied to this problem. Flow is defined as truly getting in the moment like when athletes are totally immersed in the moment.

I actually experience flow almost every day and for that I am grateful. When I am operating on a patient, I am totally lost in the moment. I mean totally. It is a wonderful feeling. My mother recently said, “I am so sorry that you have to work so hard doing hair transplants and making thousands of tiny sites.” I replied, “Work? What work? It is a joyous moment when I am in that room making exquisite patterns and engaging with my team.” That is flow. Find your flow to help elevate your V.

To make pleasures more pleasurable, find variety, as the expression goes, “Variety is the spice of life.” Haidt talks about how the French like to eat small portions of fatty foods, slowly and in the company of others. Americans pick restaurants based on portion size. Of course, large portions of anything are exactly what causes loss of enjoyment in the first place.

There are many Vs that we can find, including helping our neighbor, enjoying the company of a friend, etc. Isolated pursuit of money and power can actually lead to the opposite effect: social ostracism, lack of meaning, and eventual adaptation.

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