The Power of Intention Part 5 of 10: Receptivity
March 6, 2009 by dr. lam · 8 Comments
This is a favorite of mine. The intention of receptivity is almost a summary of everything that we have talked about this week. Too often we are totally focused on how are we going to achieve something. In so doing, we oftentimes circumvent our ability to achieve it because we are focused on the negative thoughts of trying to accomplish it with all of the attendant frustrations that come with a mechanical view of “how am I going to do that?”
Instead, being open and receptive will make all the difference. God and the universe will provide for you if you just allow that chance to occur. When I am with my patients, I am totally open even when I deal with seemingly difficult patients. People become aligned with my positive energy and spirit of receptivity. I like to frame it in perhaps an easier way, BE OPEN.
When we are closed, we create walls all around us. We do not connect with others, and in the process we can’t connect with ourselves. By focusing on our own problems and limitations, we remain closed. Therefore, the opposite of receptivity is resistance. If you are feeling resistance, let it go and be open to receive. By helping others with their problems (see the series on the Art of Happiness for a better understanding), we become open and receptive vessels. Today, go out and be as open as possible. Be receptive to all of those around you. Work on the intention of being open. When you become open to those around you, you will see that the needs that you thought you needed will become manifest without even trying.
The Power of Intention Part 3 of 10: Beauty
March 4, 2009 by dr. lam · 26 Comments
Of course, as a plastic surgeon I must comment on this one. Obviously, Dyer was more focused on inner beauty than outer beauty but he does comment about how we should look at the creation around us as beautiful. He made reference to an encounter he had with the famed concentration camp survivor and psychiatrist Viktor Frankl who during his time in the camps was given a bowl of filthy water with a fish head floating in it. Frankl saw the beauty in the food provided to him rather than the ugliness of it all. Frankl in fact states that the way that he was able to attain meaning in life is that he saw only beauty in everything. What a profound thought!
For me, I am fascinated with beauty in every facet. As you can see, my blogs focus more on attaining inner beauty whereas the rest of my website discusses how to attain outer beauty. To those who look at beauty as a vain, self-centered thing will not be in alignment with me since I have dedicated my life to creating outer beauty as much as inner beauty for others. I truly believe that when I create a beautiful result and especially when I fix an ugly one, I am able to help you co-create your future so that you have congruity between your inner and outer worlds.
Here are a few small examples of what I am talking about. I had a lady for whom I did fat grafting and a facelift 2 years ago and had not seen her for over a year. Her wrinkles had progressed despite a great result for her face. I asked her what had happened and she explained (without going into details here) that she had put herself in a bad relationship. I talked to her that perhaps my blogs would help her and gave her some of my thoughts on the subject. She said, “Wow, you really inspire me and I forgot about that.” I said, “There is no coincidence that you decided to come back into my life again, and Botox was only a small part of the reason.” I hope I made a difference in her life besides just wrinkles. However, I believe that her coming back to me more consistently will help me heal her skin while I heal her heart. I am filled with positive energy and I think I can make a difference in someone’s life both by affecting their spirit and their appearance. To me, they go hand in hand.
I had another lady that was going through a divorce and really wanted her nose fixed because it was a legacy that she carried of her past and her previous bad rhinoplasty. I knew that a few drops of silicone would restore her appearance. When I was done, she started to cry and said, “That is what I wanted for over 10 years.” I have now freed her from her past and given her the opportunity to move forward with her future. Now when she looks in the mirror she will see a beautiful nose and her heart will have been healed by her short time with me. I am very proud of helping people fulfill their objectives toward beauty, both inner and outer, so that they can become a glowing example of true beauty.
Leadership Gold Part 3 of 10: Passion
February 18, 2009 by dr. lam · 8 Comments
This is not the first time I have talked about passion and it certainly won’t be my last. Passion underscores everything that I do, and everything that I stand for. I had a hair transplant consultation last year with a gentleman who asked me, “Why are you better?” It took me about 30 minutes to go through the artistry, the way that I harvest the hair, not outsourcing a team, how I protect the tissues, etc. But I said, “I can summarize it in one word, passion.” That is why I’m different. People know that the moment they meet me. And if they don’t, they will when they finish talking with me.
I like to say that when you chase money, money will leave. When you chase your passion, money will come. There was a study that looked at 1,500 business-school graduates between 1960 to 1980 and they divided the group into those who followed their passion at all expense and those who wanted to make money then be able to use that money to chase what they wanted. Twenty years later, there were 301 millionaires from the original group. Out of the 301, 300 attained their wealth through chasing their passion at all cost. One attained his wealth by chasing money first.
When you are beset with problems all around you, the only thing that will stand the test of time is passion. Passion will drive you through the hard times and carry you over the good times. It will help all those around you carry that same passion. It is infectious. Maxwell says he has never seen a leader who was not passionate about what he or she did. Passion must be the starting point and the defining point of everything you seek.
Maxwell says find something that you would do even without compensation, then go and pursue that passion. (Obviously, get paid for it.) The easiest way to find a work you like is not to work a day in your life because every day at work should be fun and enjoyable. It should not be work. If it is work, it is not your passion. It should be your passion and underscore everything you are and you do. I am a passionate person, and if you have no passion in your life, it is much harder for me to relate to you. If you don’t have a passion, find your life’s passion, then live it!
The Voice of Knowledge Part 3 of 4: Emotions are Real
January 21, 2009 by dr. lam · Leave a Comment
In The Voice of Knowledge, Ruiz conceives of emotions as an effect (rather than a cause) and genuine (rather than false). What? Let’s take the example of a dog. A dog does not know that he is a dog. He is just living his life (as we did as children before the voice of knowledge entered our lives). Let’s say that you come home every day and pet the dog, feed the dog, walk the dog, and hug the dog. The dog will mature as a dog that is affable, fun-loving, and positively responsive. Let’s say that instead when you come home in an angry state, you kick the dog, you beat the dog, and you ignore the dog. The dog will live in fear, might bite you, or run away. Are the emotions that the dog is feeling genuine or false? They are genuine, real emotions that are in response to an external cause.
This analogy will help you understand that when we respond in a certain way, our emotions are real and authentic. However, they are an effect that we may not want to have, e.g., anger, envy, hatred, etc. They are an effect that must have a cause. The cause (if we are talking about a negative cause) is the cause that is created by our telling each other lies and not being true to ourselves. If we live by the four agreements (be impeccable with your word; don’t take anything personally; don’t make assumptions; and always do your best), we will be free of the cause and thereby free of the effect. If someone tells you his or her lie that you are not good enough, you might respond naturally with self-pity, hatred toward the other person, etc. However, if you don’t believe that lie and remain free of the emotional poison that is leveled at you, then you will not suffer a negative emotional effect. Tomorrow, we will end our discussion with how do we begin to escape the unwanted causes so that we don’t have unwanted effects obviously with reference to the four agreements as the bedrock source material.
The Voice of Knowledge Part 2 of 4: Storytelling
January 20, 2009 by dr. lam · Leave a Comment
Ruiz imagines that our lives are a dream and that we tell our stories of our life through imagining how we want to live that life. In essence, we are our own creators of our story like an artist. Ruiz’s grandfather presents the scenario that Ruiz asks Pablo Picasso to paint a portrait of him: ”When you see it finally, you say, ‘That’s not me. It does not look like me.’ Picasso replies, ‘But, of course, that is how I see you.’” We are all artists creating our own imagined story. If we see ourselves as an artist creating our story, then we do not have issues with someone else telling us that our story should be so and so. We create our own story based on our own perception.
However, sometimes we create a false story because we do not see the truth of ourselves or refuse to do so. We believe our own lies and we believe the lies that others tell of us. How do we begin to tell an authentic story of ourselves? How do we scrub away the voice of knowledge so that we see ourselves without the dense fog of mitote? The answer is straightforward but not easy: we follow the four agreements outlined last week. We stay impeccable with our word; we do not take anything personally; we do not make assumptions; and we always do our best (not more and not less).
When we start living by the principles of the four agreements, we start to see the obvious qualities of the lies that we tell ourselves and we see how others lie about us. If we remain impeccable with our word, we approach a condition in which we cannot lie to ourselves because it is against our very nature. The voice of knowledge that tells us that we are not worthy or when someone else screams that to us must be gently erased through the process of self awareness. If we remain impeccable with our word, we become authentic and truthful. The greatest lie that we tell is not one told to others, it is the one that we tell ourselves every day. What is that lie? Once you start living by the four agreements, you will start to see your own lies and begin to free yourself from those lies. You start to become an authentic individual, unfettered by the shackles of our own self-imposed hell. We become the perfect creatures that God created and reflect His light. We stop becoming a product of our own untruth. Tomorrow, we will investigate how emotions play in our lives and how we should perceive emotions in our lives.