Monday Meditations Part 5: Hindrance Meditation
May 25, 2009 by dr. lam · 2 Comments
Many of our meditative thoughts drift to our concerns and our fears. We cannot stay centered very well because we tend to start to let our worries consume us and we are propelled back to our daily anxieties. This exercise allows us to see what our hindrances are and confront them in a meditative and non-judgmental way. As we start this exercise like all meditations so far, we begin with a grounding in our breath. We focus on the nature and quality of our breathing before we proceed. As our mind naturally begins to drift toward a hindrance or an encumbrance in our life, we center that thought into our mind and allow it to float in front of us. We relinquish our judgment of that thought and let the fear and anxiety that typically surrounds it go and we replace those emotions with love, peace, and acceptance. As further hindrances enter our mind and our spirit we continue to allow those thoughts to mature and to float but we withhold negative ruminations and prejudices about our perceived hindrance. We allow us to see ourselves overcoming our hindrance and allowing us to go beyond the limitations of this hindrance. We allow ourselves to move forward without perturbation or restriction. We begin to see the hindrance no longer as a hindrance but just as, i.e., just let it be. When we have “overcome” or accepted these hindrances, we return back to our centered breathing and end with a focus on the breath. Here is a video guide to help you with this exercise. Wishing you and your family a blessed Memorial Day weekend. Namaste.
The Art of Happiness Part 3 of 5: Intimacy
January 7, 2009 by dr. lam · Leave a Comment
Okay, before you guys get too excited about this one, I am not talking explicitly about sexual intimacy (actually a little bit not a lot). Obviously, when reading the works of a Buddhist monk, you won’t get too much sage advice regarding sexual matters, or at least I hope not. What I am talking about is connecting with other human beings at the core level of humanity. Let me explain.
The Dalai Lama talks about how oftentimes we as humans see barriers of difference between us like our skin color, age, sex, religion, political views, education, social status, etc. However, the common linkage between all of us sentient beings is our humanity. Next time you see another person in front of you, try to remove all the trappings that separate you two and look “intimately” at their core self, which is their humanity. By doing so, we achieve a connectedness with one another that not only shapes the other person in front of us but it shapes us as well in a positive way.
Obviously, nurturing relationships of a romantic and sexual nature are part of what we seek in life. However, we can eliminate loneliness, oftentimes the driving force behind our actions, by becoming connected with all human life in an “intimate” way (no, not sexual.) When Dr. Cutler asked the Dalai Lama in the book, The Art of Happiness, whether he ever felt loneliness. The answer was immediate and succinct, “No.” Now, how did a monk who lived his entire existence without female companionship not feel loneliness? In short, because of his profound intimacy with human nature.
As a great exercise to start (hopefully to become innate over time for all of us), try to look at every human being today as a human being stripped of all manner of social rank, status, color, gender, etc. And connect with them. If you start to connect on a daily level with every human being you encounter as a human being and nothing further, feelings of loneliness and disconnect will begin to fade. I think it is a great way to live life and a way that can help us achieve a happiness that will be greatly returned as another individual radiates that warmth back and thereby escalates our happy state. Today’s blog is a prerequisite understanding for tomorrow’s on compassion.
On the subject of romantic intimacy, the Dalai Lama did have some words of wisdom. He noted those marriages that failed were ones based solely on physical attraction. Although physical attraction can draw two individuals together, that bond is fleeting. In order for that intimacy to endure, it must be founded on a deeper level of mutual respect. Oftentimes, romance as captured on celluloid works on a fundamental level of idealization of the other partner without the perception of the other as a human being but merely as an object. When the human flaws begin to poke through the cracks, which they inevitably do, the lust of the other as an object will be easily and irrevocably tarnished. Wise words from a monk!
P.S.: I’M REALLY HAPPY TO REPORT THAT AFTER MONTHS OF WORK, MY WEBMASTER HAS LAUNCHED AN ENTIRELY NEW BEFORE AND AFTER GALLERY. SHORTLY AFTER I LAUNCHED MY FLASH VERSION TO REPLACE MY HTML VERSION I REALIZE HOW NON-INTUITIVE MY NAVIGATION WAS SO I HAVE REPLACED IT WITH A VERSION THAT I THINK OFFERS THE BEST OF THE FLASH AND HTML VERSIONS. YOU CAN EVEN LEAVE COMMENTS ON MY BEFORE AND AFTERS. THE SLIDESHOW FUNCTION DID NOT SEEM TO WORK LAST NIGHT. I HAVE MY WEBMASTER WORKING ON THAT AND THERE ARE A FEW MISSING THUMBNAILS BUT I THINK YOU WILL REALLY LIKE THE FUNCTIONALITY AND FORM OF MY NEW GALLERY. YOU MAY ALSO NOTICE THAT THE THUMBNAILS ROTATE EVERY TIME YOU VISIT THE SECTION. HERE IS AN EASY LINK TO IT.
The Art of Happiness Part 1 of 5: Pursuing Happiness
January 5, 2009 by dr. lam · Leave a Comment
I just finished the book, The Art of Happiness, which involves teachings of His Holiness the Dalai Lama and his conversations with Phoenix psychiatrist Howard C. Cutler, M.D. Dr. Cutler tries to explore the ideas of Buddhist thought as preached and practiced by the Dalai Lama, as they would be explicable and applicable to non-Buddhists in the West. During this time of financial vicissitudes, we can perhaps learn a lot from global thoughts that antedate and continue to flourish during our lives from the Far East. I will not summarize the book but focus on select topics that have personal resonance for me that I thought would be helpful for my readership. These blogs represent an attempt for me at personal growth and self awareness and are letters written to myself that if burnished well will radiate to all those who are interested enough to read them.
The Dalai Lama believes that happiness is the singular purpose of life that supercedes all other concerns or at least represents the fundamental distillation of what our life should be about. At first glance, this comment seems to belie a monkish disposition and compel one to think that a monk is advocating some kind of dissolute, hedonistic life. Rather, as you read through this 5-part series, you will see that in fact the opposite is the case. In short, altruism and compassion are rooted in one’s own inner happiness.
As mentioned, we think that if we are to pursue happiness, we are in fact elevating our selfish nature. However, if we stop to think of how truly happy individuals can radiate kindness, compassion, and love to others; whereas, unhappy people pass on their disgruntled demeanor and horde and heave hatred and displeasure to all who encounter them. If we start with understanding how to reach a deep and meaningful happiness, we can use that as a launching point to help others. In fact, the act of helping others can be a truly happy action to take. But more about that later this week.
If life is for living, how else can we live but in a happy state. Living in a depressed, angry, or self-tormented condition will only lead to an unbearable state that contravenes our very nature. We were not born to live in misery. In fact, in one part of the book when Dr. Cutler asks the Dalai Lama about self-hatred, he received a befuddled silence in response. The Dalai Lama simply could not understand what this concept meant, as he had never encountered it in his sheltered world. If our fundamental nature is designed for happiness, then how can we achieve it? We will explore the following concepts over this next week: contentment, intimacy, compassion, and confronting suffering to draw broad strokes within which you can create finer etchings that will define your own existence.
Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays from LFP!
December 25, 2008 by dr. lam · 2 Comments
A CLASSIC CHRISTMAS
A DISCO CHRISTMAS
A TEXAS CHRISTMAS
Believe it or not, I am actually taking a short break today and not writing a blog. What? I guess I am sort of writing one by writing this. Okay, this is not truly a thought-provoking blog but a jolly good Christmas cheer to all who celebrate Christmas. For those who do not, I wish you a Happy Hanukkah, Merry Kwanzaa, Happy Festivus or simply Happy Holidays. My sister sent me this crazy card, and I decided to create my own versions with my staff just for a good laugh and possible smile. My patients have truly become part of our LFP family. All of us here at LFP wish you and yours a joyous and restful Christmas holiday, as we are closed ourselves for the remainder of the week to enjoy this blessed time.
My Travels in Asia: Remembering Hong Kong (Part 1 of 5)
December 1, 2008 by dr. lam · 1 Comment
I spent close to 5 straight months in Asia partly out of recreation and partly for my education in cosmetic surgery of the Asian face. My true travelogue came in the form of a published book (Cosmetic Surgery of the Asian Face, Thieme Medical Publishers) and about 10 published papers from my time over there. The series of blogs this week will be an informal and admittedly non-scientific remembrance of things past.
I wanted to start this week with my favorite Asian city of all, my hometown where I was born, Hong Kong. I have been back to Hong Kong on multiple trips starting in my childhood with my last trip just the past year when I lectured to YPO/WPO (Young President’s Organization/World President’s Organization). When I returned to HK as a child and adolescent I had a tremendous time with all my extended family and relatives. Little by little that number dwindled due to an en masse emigration prior to 1997, the year that the British returned their crown colony to the PRC. Fear of that transaction and any ensuing economic instability compelled many of my relatives to depart their hometown for the Occident.
My childhood remembrances were always centered around Kowloon. For the uninitiated to HK geography, the city is divided principally into the continental half, Kowloon, and Hong Kong island. Kowloon is suburbia but features such glorious landmarks like the Peninsula hotel, where I had my lavish 1-year-old birthday party decked out with a puppy dog birthday cake, as far as I recall from my mom’s recounting and worn photos.
It was my last two trips (including my extended stay in HK for one month during the 5 months of my Asia trip) that I would like to focus on. During those trips, I was able to see the insular HK side in much greater detail and really enjoyed the bustling urban scape that was different from Kowloon. “Central” is the name of the area that is the core of the HK side where the height of opulent commercialism is in full display: Armani, Loro Piana, etc. The nightlife in Lan Kwai Fong, the cobbled and terraced bar district, offers the insomniac their own Xanadu. Of course, the food in HK is nothing short of what I would consider divine ambrosia. It didn’t hurt that my best friend Timmy with whom I grew up stayed in a palatial residence overlooking the harbor and who permitted me to stay with him during my trip. This past year when I was lecturing in HK I stayed at the Mandarin Oriental (the original) and can remember fondly and vividly all of the grandeur of my stay: my daily ritual consisted of working out with the Kinesis system (if you haven’t tried this, you have to find one) overlooking the harbor, then going downstairs to sate myself on an entirely freshly made breakfast (preserves, eggs, coffee, wow!). My nights were spent with my cousins and friends who lavished on us expensive, elaborate repasts that would rival the feasts of kings.
If you can ever make it to my hometown, I would highly recommend it. In fact, Emina, my hair-transplant coordinator, just got back from multiple cities in the Orient and intentionally only saw little of Hong Kong so that she would have an excuse to go back to what she called her favorite city. I understand and concur. Tomorrow we travel to Tokyo!