9/11 (Belated) Remembrance: Emotional Memories and Harnessing Them
September 12, 2008 by dr. lam · Leave a Comment
I am sorry that I did not dedicate yesterday’s blog to 9/11, which, of course, is a very special day here in the U.S. I didn’t think to do so until the morning of during my surgery since I typically write the blog the night before or a couple of days in advance. Anyway, here is my blog.
I was at a business forum meeting about 2 weeks ago, and our invited speaker showed a photo of the airplanes crashing into the World Trade Center and asked, “What emotions does this event engender?” As expected, the answers were fear, sadness, not feeling safe, etc. She then asked, what were you doing on that day? Of course, every single individual recounted what they were doing that day. For a different generation, the assassination of JFK would conjure up that level of remembrance.
For me, I remember very vividly that I had finished a facelift and heard something about a plane crashing into a building and my making some stupid, flippant remark as a joke. Of course, an hour later I apologized for my stupidity as I didn’t understand the gravity of the events until a bit later. I felt tremendous sadness and also disillusion about my career choice. I felt it was trivial beyond measure. Of course, now I would not trade it for the world, as I love what I do, and reading this incredible card that I received yesterday from a patient who flew in to see me from California almost brought me to tears and reinforced why I am on this planet.
I remember waiting to be called down to the tragedy to help out since I had recently left months prior from New York City and was in upstate New York for my fellowship in facial plastic surgery. But, of course, everyone had already died and there was no need for help. That made me feel even more helpless. My girlfriend when I was in NYC actually saw the plane hit the building as she was going to work. My sister was supposed to work nearby at a restaurant since she had just gotten back from 6 months abroad travel in Asia but called in sick that day. She could smell the carnage wafting northward for quite some time. She was hosting a Japanese girl whom she had met on her travels for a short time, and the girl had no way of getting home. The letter my sister received from her was of gratitude for a kind soul to help her when no one else did.
I won’t go into all of the details of what I learned from that business session but I will do so over a few, separate blogs. However, the point of what Dr. Gardner, our invited speaker, was talking about was the power of emotions. If I asked you what you were doing on September 11, 2000, you probably would have no idea unless it was your birthday or some other special event.
We tend to only remember things that have an emotional impact on us rather than an intellectual one. However, we too often ignore the power of emotions and regard ourselves as a purely intellectual creature. We are far from that. Emotions drive our behaviors, habits, beliefs, and what I am talking about is memory. Emotions can profoundly shape us. They are not always bad. They can help shape us to do and to feel and to think good things. I hope all of you can look at emotions as a good thing. Close your eyes for a moment and think of a good time in your past. Mine was thinking of my dad and me eating sherbet in Hong Kong at the country club. More about that memory in a future blog…
In Montreal For Meeting
September 3, 2008 by dr. lam · Leave a Comment
Hi Everyone,
I just wanted to say that I flew out today to Montreal for a Hair Transplant meeting so I am going to take 2 days off the blogs if you don’t mind. I am really tired with finishing my book this week and then flying out so I hope you understand my taking a short and much-needed respite. I just had a great dinner with Emina (my hair-transplant coordinator) at Toqué, great restaurant here in Montreal, to celebrate our finishing the book together. She was a great asset in the hair chapter.
I need to wake up at 6 am to go to attend workshops, and Emina is going to go do a second part of her teaching assistants cutting and placing grafts, which again I am very proud of her so I am signing off until Monday where I will have some fresh blogging for you guys. Again, I hope I am not letting anyone down but I need a 2-day break. Maybe I will share with you some of my adventures in old Montreal. A bientôt!