Leadership Gold Part 9 of 10: Getting the Meeting Done Before the Meeting
February 26, 2009 by dr. lam · 4 Comments
Maxwell is full of practical advice. My major goal this year is to schedule consistent monthly meetings for the entire year, which I have already done. I have also done that for my salon and spa. One thing that Maxwell talks about is having a meeting before the meeting with your key players. I am now soliciting ideas and advice from my key players and from all players well in advance of the meeting for several reasons.
First, I want to know what is on their mind before I walk through that door. That helps me avoid being blindsided by something in public that we should have probably addressed in private first. Second, it brings clarity to the subject so that the person bringing it up can have a “coach” before the meeting. That is what we do in my EO forum. When someone is going to present the following month, the presenter undergoes intense coaching from last month’s presenter (or from someone who is well versed in the presenter’s subject matter) so that the presenter can achieve clarity and focus before walking into the meeting. In fact, a bad presentation in my forum can be blamed as much on the presenter as it can on the coach who failed to coach the presenter adequately. Third, meeting key players before the meeting will help elicit a coalition so that there is relative unanimity on a subject before going in so that we are all not in a bickering mood. Fourth, it helps create a continuity so that the meeting is not just a single isolated happening once a month. I actually have weekly meetings for my spa and even shorter meetings almost every day since my spa is in a growth trajectory. As I have mentioned in a previous blog, accountability is very hard to have on a monthly basis. A weekly basis or shorter interval is necessary for any real level of accountability to be had.
I know this topic is one in which it seems pretty focused on a business owner trying to lead his/her staff. However, I think this subject can be applicable at many levels even for non-business owners or non business people all together. For example, if you are a staff member, you might want to make sure that a task is being completed on time, so you set up regular meetings to make sure that things are progressing well. You would then personally meet with your team members between these established meetings to make sure everything is in fact on track.
In my EO forum, I have learned a valuable trick that does not breach confidentiality (which is sacred to me and my forum group). Some of my forum members actually carry out family meetings on a weekly basis in which even the kids lead the meetings. This teaches children a leadership role early on and allows them to learn how to delegate, assume responsibility, run a meeting, and be on time. Obviously, the parent could run the meeting too. Even spouses together can have a family meeting if there are no children in the family. There are many versions, permutations, and merits to a meeting, but the focus of this blog is understanding the merit of the meeting before the meeting. Maxwell is simply brilliant and insightful.
Leadership Gold Part 8 of 10: People Quit People, Not Companies
February 25, 2009 by dr. lam · 7 Comments
This is perhaps one of the toughest things to own up to. I like the saying, “People join companies, but they leave managers.” I try to always remember that. When someone wants to leave a job, too often we as leaders just blame the person or the amorphous identity of the organization. However, it might very well be our own fault. Typically, I look at myself to see what I am doing wrong and an exit interview can be very helpful to see whether I was the problem even unwittingly in the calamity.
A leader must have natural skills as a leader that rank above the leadership capacity of those under him/her. A person of a leadership capacity of 8 will not follow a leader who is sitting at a 3. It is the law of respect. When the staff cannot respect the leader, they will leave and gravitate around a stronger leader that can lead them the right way. The law of respect follows the law of competency. When a leader is incompetent or less competent than a staff member, the staff member must per force leave. It is almost impossible to work for someone above you who really should be beneath you. I learn a lot from my sister. She has oftentimes complained in the past (repeatedly) that she could not follow her leader because he/she was simply incompetent. The entire team knew he/she was incompetent but the leader didn’t.
At the same time, I have learned a very valuable lesson on the flip side. When someone is not happy or wants to leave, bless them to leave. Do not try to negotiate a better salary, perks, promise this or that, just let them leave. Even though quality people are great finds when you find them, they are replaceable. That sounds harsh, but it is true. What Maxwell says is that a poor leader will have a very limited pool of people to draw from, but a great leader will have a huge pool of people to draw from. Now, that does not mean that I am not fiercely loyal to my staff. My staff is fiercely loyal to me, and I to them. It just means let people go when they need to go, a hard lesson for me but one that I realize is a truism that must be understood and lived. Also, listening to Rand Stagen give a talk about company life cycles (both depressing and exhilarating), he mentioned that an employee of his was recruited to go elsewhere. He was of course not thrilled with it, but he realized that he could and would remain loyal to his staff that chose to leave. He would endorse him and still stay proud of who that staff member was and would be…even outside the context of his company. I hope my staff never leave me, but if they do I won’t put up a fight. I will bless them on their way if they have better opportunities than what I have to offer them.
Leadership Gold Part 7 of 10: Look, Listen, Ask
February 24, 2009 by dr. lam · 17 Comments
When John Maxwell has a meeting, he puts a tiny “L” at the corner of one of his pages to remind him to listen. He adds another “L” next to it for look, i.e., look at the person you are listening to. I myself am perhaps the most guilty of wanting to dominate a conversation and failing to listen. Perhaps I can blame my XY chromosome, as most men fail in this endeavor. My mom says I don’t listen to her very well. Well, I am trying at this endeavor and want to improve in this department of weakness of mine. More about my weaknesses further down.
A leader should be actively listening to his staff to get pertinent feedback, encourage creative ideas and to use that information as a source of ways to improve the team. Without encouraging other voices, a meeting or an encounter becomes a fruitless exercise. Just one voice screaming out his opinion. That is also why I value input and responses in these blogs. (In fact, I have designed this website uniquely to have as many voices on here as possible, e.g., on my blogs, forum posts, before and after gallery and soon to be on the videos too.) Two minds are always better than one. How about a thousand? I have made it a concerted effort to begin listening better and to conduct a meeting with more openness. My last meeting with my salon director was spent 80% of the time quiet just listening to the problems, prospects, and thoughts of my director so that I could learn what was going on and to better grasp if the direction taken was the right one.
I am combining another part of Maxwell’s dictums into one for the sake of trying to cram 23 of his ideas into 10 blogs. He says a great leader knows what questions to ask. The biggest question to ask is, “What mistakes am I making?” That is a tough one to ask and to hear. It is an important one. One person came up to Maxwell after a lecture and said, “Mr. Maxwell, a leader must put up a strong front and never show his weaknesses.” Maxwell retorted, “You are assuming your staff does not already know your weaknesses. They do. Once you admit them, they are reassured that you know yourself and they don’t have to keep pretending that you don’t know.” When a leader admits his own weaknesses, he can then ask the staff to “pushback”, i.e., to give opinions in a free forum to help with the organization. He should encourage a roundtable discussion free of rejection and fear from a leader’s dismissive remarks.
I myself am constantly working to open up my weaknesses to my staff. What are they? First and foremost, I am not a great administrator. That is why Dianne and Constanze work as my principal administrators but also everyone around them work as their own administrators. When we had a vacuum for someone to help with ordering, Darla stepped in and took over. When Vassilka realized that photo taking and transferring was something that she could do well and efficiently, she took that over without my even asking. When I couldn’t fit all my hair transplant consults now until May, Constanze looked at a creative way to get them in earlier and Emina stepped up to help. I want to thank my team for every small and big thing they do because I notice each and everything they do, and I am flabbergasted at the quality of Team LFP.
What are my strengths besides plastic surgery? I am a connector and I care. I love people, simply put. Therefore, I constantly work to engage my team and put them together on equal footing to excel. However, I realized that my weakness as an administrator did not permit me to resign my task as CEO. I now am constantly meeting with my administrators to make sure that they are not alone in their task. I have weekly (sometimes every other day meetings with my spa director); I ask my nursing administrator what things are going on that I need to know about; and I meet with my salon director once a month and get feedback from him once or twice a week on matters usually by phone. I am focused now on asking what am I doing wrong and what could I do better.
Leadership Gold Part 5 of 10: Don’t Send Your Ducks to Eagle School
February 20, 2009 by dr. lam · 10 Comments
I love this one. Despite his best intentions, Maxwell said he learned a valuable lesson during his lifetime as a leader: you can’t change people. Certain people like to get up late, barely get by in life, and are satisfied with their lot. There are also others that wake up early, challenge themselves, and want to continue to improve themselves daily. There are also many shades of gray between these two extremes. You can make slight changes to someone what Maxwell calls “2 notches up or down” but that is about it, i.e., in a 10-point scale for humanity, most people can change about 2 points one way or the other but that is about it.
He recounts a story that whenever he drives by a Krispy Kreme donut store he looks for a red light to see if there are any fresh donuts being made right then. Although he does not frequently splurge on this indulgence, he decided at that moment to enter the store to procure his sinful delight despite the absence of a friendly light to alert him to a new batch of donuts. To his surprise when he entered the store, he saw that a fresh lot just came off the conveyer belt, so he asked the woman working there, “Why didn’t you turn the red light on? I see that you have fresh donuts coming out right now.” She replied, “Well, we have fresh donuts coming off all the time. But whenever we turned the light on, too many customers would come in.” Maxwell thought, “Wow, if the owners would have heard that.”
I like what my mentor said to me, “You can inspire people but you can motivate them.” People that read my blogs want to get better and are naturally inclined toward inspiration. However, those who read these blogs and get nothing out of them may not be easily inspired and they certainly can’t be motivated. That comes from within, deep within. Maxwell recalls that whenever he finishes giving a lecture that someone would come up to him and say, “Wow, that’s the best thing I’ve heard. I’m going to change my life because of it.” He says others would say, “I’ve heard it all before. What a waste of time.” I hear these kinds of remarks at my meetings. I always try my best to get a single, solitary pearl for my patients. I believe that a small pearl can radically change the welfare of my patients in both the short- and long-term, and I find great reward in it.
Back to ducks and eagles… Clearly, some people are very happy to be a duck, but as a leader don’t try to send them to become an eagle. Eagles who are used to soaring will resent you for putting them with ducks, and the ducks will resent you for putting them to do eagle work when they are ducks. Ducks are good creatures; they swim hard and travel long distances slowly but surely. Eagles soar over the waters but really do not steadily progress over the water like a duck. The world is made of ducks and eagles. It is important when you lead to recognize who is a duck and who is an eagle and keep them in their assigned roles. Are you a duck? Are you an eagle? If you are a leader, have you been sending your ducks to eagle school?
Leadership Gold Part 4 of 10: Working Within Your Strength Zone
February 19, 2009 by dr. lam · 4 Comments
Too many times we spend our energies trying to improve our weaknesses, which may be a good thing, but what are our true strengths? It is best to spend most of your time improving your strengths and making sure that you are better at it than anyone else. What are your strengths? What are your talents?
Maxwell argues that people do not pay for mediocrity. They only pay for excellence. Only excellence survives and flourishes. A leader works within his strength zone and gets to the core of what makes him special. People will follow someone who thrives in his strength zone, but people will not follow someone who exemplifies only mediocrity.
An audience member challenged Maxwell and said, “I think Tiger Woods proves an exception to your rule. He always works on the weaknesses in his swing.” Maxwell countered, “Au contraire, Tiger Woods is working on a weakness in his strength zone, which is golf. If he were trying to practice accounting or gardening, that would be working on weaknesses outside of his strength zone.” Maxwell goes on to say that no matter how many hours of golf that he played he would never come close to Tiger Woods. So he works within his strength zone, which is leadership and communication.
A great leader not only knows his own strength zone but he knows the strength zones of every member of his team. He knows how to cultivate the strength zones of each team member and how to avoid any weaknesses that each team member inherently possesses. In the past, I have referred to this as a staff member’s “scorecard”. I know each person’s scorecard. When a leader develops his own strength zone, he can more readily recognize the strength zones of those around him. In addition, he hires people whose strength zones are different from his own to complement rather than repeat his own strength zone.
How do you know your strength zone? It would help to get feedback from those around you. Perhaps you think you are good at something, but that is not the consensus out there. You must marry your passion with your talents. You can’t just have one or the other. Passion without talent will not lead to success. Talent without passion won’t get you very far. Once you have found your strength zone, work on developing it in every facet that you can…all the time…relentlessly. That is what I do with facial plastic surgery and with leadership/self growth. Those are my strength zones and I work tirelessly within them. I work harder than most if not all of my colleagues, and I work more creatively. I live, breathe, eat, and sleep it. Do you know your strength zone and are you relentless in your pursuit at getting your strength zone better?