The Four Agreements Part 1 of 5: The Fog & The Dream
January 12, 2009 by dr. lam · 2 Comments
Well, this week we move from the wisdom of the Far East to return to our hemisphere to learn from the ancient tribe of southern Mexico, the Toltecs, who practiced a not explicitly religious but nevertheless spiritual path to guide one’s life in a profound yet practical way. The wisdom from these blogs comes from Don Miguel Ruiz’s book, The Four Agreements. Today we will introduce the idea of what state we are in in our lives so that you can understand the necessity and the method of applying the Four Agreements over the next week.
The Toltecs looked at the way that we perceive ourselves as dirtied by a thick fog, which they called mitote (pronounced mih-toe’-tay). The belief systems that we have are instilled in us as a child, which we then carry forward for the remainder of our lives most oftentimes unwittingly. The Toltecs framed life as a 24/7 dream with an external dream and an internal dream. The external dream is what others have created in us as Ruiz argues through a process of “domestication” starting with our parents. If our parents say, “Son, you are no good.” We carry those limitations with us and we believe in those words even though it hurts us to do so.
Ruiz, a Toltec himself, posits that humans are the only beings that hurt themselves a thousand times for the same mistake. We also tend to hurt others for that one mistake that was made, whereas animals make a mistake and move forward. We allow others to abuse us, to judge us, and to permit ourselves to be victims because that is the domestication that was handed down to us. In fact, we can maintain relationships that are painful so long as that pain of abuse does not exceed our level of self abuse and self hatred. If you hate yourself to a certain degree, and someone else treats you worse than you treat yourself, you will divorce yourself from that person’s presence. However, if you are filled with self loathing, then even if the person treats you badly if it is less than your own self perception of abuse, you will tolerate that abuse and allow it to be perpetuated indefinitely.
In The Four Agreements, Ruiz uses ancient Toltec wisdom to help an individual break free from these draining belief systems, or old agreements, to create new agreements that emanate from one’s own personal dream to influence and shape the external dream. Why subscribe to the four internal agreements? Simply put, so that you can free yourself from your own personal hell and create your own dream of heaven. So that you can reduce your own internal pain and free yourself since no one else can do that for you. As you break these old agreements, you will see that you won’t be drained but you will be filled with a newfound sense of energy that will then feed itself to provide you even more energy, as you pursue your dream of happiness. What are these four agreements? Well, we will cover one each day over this next week. I hope you find this ancient wisdom as enlightening as I have in my personal quest for self improvement and self actualization.