Buy•ology Part 3 of 5: Somatic Markers
February 11, 2009 by dr. lam · 5 Comments
When we see a bottle of Jif peanut butter, why do we choose it over the generic brand? Is it truly better? Is there something more reliable about it than another brand. Well, with the recent salmonella outbreak, perhaps there is some veracity to all of this. However, we choose a brand of peanut butter not because of any logic (no matter how much we would like to believe in our logical selves) but due to an emotion, an unconscious thought process that makes us instantaneously pick up the bottle and put it in the shopping cart. Or for those out there who are loyal to Peter Pan, the same instantaneous response occurs. This type of shortcut that influences our buying decisions is termed a somatic marker.
A somatic marker originates in many cases from our childhood filled with memories and with an instinctual system of reward and punishment. If we smelled a wonderful roast as a child and opened the oven and reached in to touch the piping hot Le Creuset pot and instantly recoil in pain, do we not have that experience linger with us for quite some time? These visceral subnotes that underscore how we behave today have a lingering legacy. Why do we think German cars are better? Why do we think a camera from Japan must be better than one purchased from another country? These somatic markers lead to a certain irrational way that we create shortcut stereotypes that influence our buying decisions. Interestingly, as a baby, my mother used to slather a whopping dollop of facial cream on me all the time. I still am not comfortable with facials, especially when a lot of heavy cream is used. I shutter when I think of thick facial cream. Fortunately, I have mitigated my irrational feeling and can use moisturizer every day!
These somatic markers that influence our buying decisions are more powerful than we as thoughful consumers would own up to. In England, the tissue brand Andrex outsells Kleenex brand by almost 2 to 1. The rationale for why this might be the case stems from the use of a small labrador puppy that slides down snowy hills on long trails of toilet paper in the commercials. The puppy has been casually associated with new families and toilet training and there might be something indelibly linked at a conceptual and emotional level that Kleenex does not offer the UK buyer. For all of these emotive connections, we as consumers should be more explicitly thoughtful in our buying decisions to overcome these subversive tendencies.
The Art of Happiness Part 1 of 5: Pursuing Happiness
January 5, 2009 by dr. lam · Leave a Comment
I just finished the book, The Art of Happiness, which involves teachings of His Holiness the Dalai Lama and his conversations with Phoenix psychiatrist Howard C. Cutler, M.D. Dr. Cutler tries to explore the ideas of Buddhist thought as preached and practiced by the Dalai Lama, as they would be explicable and applicable to non-Buddhists in the West. During this time of financial vicissitudes, we can perhaps learn a lot from global thoughts that antedate and continue to flourish during our lives from the Far East. I will not summarize the book but focus on select topics that have personal resonance for me that I thought would be helpful for my readership. These blogs represent an attempt for me at personal growth and self awareness and are letters written to myself that if burnished well will radiate to all those who are interested enough to read them.
The Dalai Lama believes that happiness is the singular purpose of life that supercedes all other concerns or at least represents the fundamental distillation of what our life should be about. At first glance, this comment seems to belie a monkish disposition and compel one to think that a monk is advocating some kind of dissolute, hedonistic life. Rather, as you read through this 5-part series, you will see that in fact the opposite is the case. In short, altruism and compassion are rooted in one’s own inner happiness.
As mentioned, we think that if we are to pursue happiness, we are in fact elevating our selfish nature. However, if we stop to think of how truly happy individuals can radiate kindness, compassion, and love to others; whereas, unhappy people pass on their disgruntled demeanor and horde and heave hatred and displeasure to all who encounter them. If we start with understanding how to reach a deep and meaningful happiness, we can use that as a launching point to help others. In fact, the act of helping others can be a truly happy action to take. But more about that later this week.
If life is for living, how else can we live but in a happy state. Living in a depressed, angry, or self-tormented condition will only lead to an unbearable state that contravenes our very nature. We were not born to live in misery. In fact, in one part of the book when Dr. Cutler asks the Dalai Lama about self-hatred, he received a befuddled silence in response. The Dalai Lama simply could not understand what this concept meant, as he had never encountered it in his sheltered world. If our fundamental nature is designed for happiness, then how can we achieve it? We will explore the following concepts over this next week: contentment, intimacy, compassion, and confronting suffering to draw broad strokes within which you can create finer etchings that will define your own existence.
Happy New Year!
January 1, 2009 by dr. lam · 2 Comments
Time truly flies. I literally cannot believe that 2008 has drawn to a close and the new year is already upon us. I think today should be a time of both reflection of the past year and what we have in store for us in the coming year.
Although 2008 has been a rocky year in the world, I am grateful that LFP has been relatively shielded from the effects so far of the economic downturn. Instead of dwelling on the negatives, I would like to focus on some of the positive milestones of this past year. First, I finished writing my 5th book in 5 years, Aging Face: The New Paradigm, which I am very proud of. This should be my last venture into the world of hard-core academic publishing besides ongoing book chapters and scientific papers. In a way what I foresee for myself is to transition from an ensconced academia into the mainstream (more about that in a moment). I am also proud that a year ago I took 4 months out of my life and studied hard to sit and pass the American Board of Hair Restoration Surgery and am now a diplomate with only 120 others in the world. This past year I had the good fortune of completely filling my building but then losing ground with the closure of the lap-band center and vein center upstairs. Nevertheless, my spa opened and is growing by leaps and bounds and the anti-aging center and rolfing center are going like gangbusters. Although in 2007 LFP had 1 or 2 slow months, this is the first year that we had complete uniformity with no slow months and bookings several months out in advance. I am very proud of the accomplishments of my staff and my building.
My next year will carry more responsibility in many ways. First, I will be carrying the title of moderator for my Entrepreneur’s Organization (EO) forum, which will demand much time from me. Second, I shall be turning up the heat as Editor-in-Chief of the academy’s Face Book that will be published as a major consumer’s guide to facial plastic surgery (don’t worry, we copyrighted Facebook before facebook.com did). My plan over the next two years will involve becoming much more of a mainstream presence on television, public speaking, etc. I am very much interested in getting my vision out to every household to the best of my ability. I look forward to a fun, exciting and growing 2009, and I hope you continue your journey with me.
The Trouble of Mitigated Speech & Hofstede’s Power Distance Index
December 30, 2008 by dr. lam · Leave a Comment
I can’t help but draw from Gladwell’s Outliers again as source material since it is so rich with ideas that have profoundly shaped my thinking. He talked about why Korean Airlines had one of the worst crash records from the late 80s to the late 90s. Interestingly, what he also found is that when the most experienced pilot flew, there was the highest chance for a crash, whereas when the least experienced pilot flew, it tended to be the safest flight.
What was observed at KAL was that the subordinate or lesser pilot would pay deference to the senior captain so he could almost never overtly challenge the senior captain’s stewardship of the plane. He would then speak in what is termed “mitigated speech”, i.e., very elliptically made speech that never directly attacked the captain. For example, if the plane had too much ice to make flying the plane a safe venture, the co-pilot would say something like, “Boy, it’s cold out there.” Of course, the pilot would have no idea what he was talking about. He could up the ante a bit and say, “Boy, the wings look a bit icy tonight, what do you think?” He might even go so far as to say, “Maybe we should take another look to see if there is too much ice on the wings to fly?” In almost every case, the Korean pilot would be too oblique in his commentary and deferential to change the captain’s mind about something that should have been very obvious.
The Korean language carries many honorifics and many layers of deferential speak that separate societal ranks. Customs further reinforce this behavior. For example, no one can start eating at the table until the most senior person starts. However, the most senior person can start eating way before anyone else is sitting at the table. Gladwell looked at Hofstede’s power distance index of various countries (click here to see Hofstede’s global PDI map). He found that Americans have a very low PDI, i.e., subordinates are very comfortable telling off a senior member whom they found to be wrong. However, even in the U.S., lower-ranked pilots would still at times have trouble telling the captain that there was a problem so that new training required that a lower-ranked U.S. pilot would try 3 times to convince a senior pilot that what he was doing was dangerous and if he could not that he would simply take over the cockpit.
Korean Airlines has become one of the safest airlines today because of a radical overhaul to the culture. All KAL pilots must be fluent in English, which helps them communicate better with international air-traffic control and also minimize the PDI issues. They also trained with U.S. pilots to start breaking down long-held PDI structures.
I have told this story to all of my staff so that they do not engage in a PDI issue with me. I need to know honestly what I am doing right and what I am doing wrong. I have asked them to run my ship with frank candor. I do not hire “Yes Men” and I do not want a “Yes Men” mentality to hold sway over my ship. I have asked the same candor from my patients. Open dialogue is the key to any relationship by breaking down the PDI at a fundamental level.
Story of the Week!
December 26, 2008 by dr. lam · Leave a Comment
I don’t think I’ll have a new patient story for you every week, but this one really touched me a lot. I had a patient who was looking for lip enhancement and had called around town. After Marcy worked her phone magic that she does so well, she really believed that I was the best suited to help her out (which I not so humbly believe to be true). She enjoyed most of the day at my spa then came over to my office for some fillers. I explained to her that fillers could also be used in the face, and I discussed with her the merits of Botox for long-term wrinkle reduction. She decided to do the fillers for facial rejuvenation, lip enhancement, and Botox.
I always see my patients back a week later to make sure that they are doing okay and to show them their before and after photographs. When I was taking her photos in the photo room, she said, “Dr. Lam, I know you don’t know this about me, but my daughter suffered anaphylactic shock when she was 15 years old and died in front of me. I got very close to my second daughter, my only other child, but who was then killed with my sister in a car accident 2 years later.” She then said, “Dr. Lam, you have given me my face back as it was before all this happened to me. You have erased 15 years of grief from my face.”
I can tell you it was hard to hold back my tears when I heard that. I told that story to all my staff. Even something “small” like Restylane can have a profound impact on people’s lives. I always say to my staff we are not in the business of plastic surgery but in the business of “taking care of people and transforming lives”. I can think of no better incidence than this one. I am so proud of performing such a small thing that had such wonderfully unintended benefits. I always remember that every person that I treat is special no matter what the motivations they have or the treatments that I perform. You never know when a small thing can mean a lot to the other person you were so blessed to encounter. Wishing all of you a special holiday season, and I hope this story touched you as much as it did me and my staff!