Psycho-Cybernetics Part 22 of 30: Capriati and Poise
June 10, 2009 by dr. lam · 6 Comments
Poise is defined as the ability to remain calm and liberated even in the face of unfamiliar or strange circumstances. James Mangan, the famous salesman, author and lecturer, was painfully self-conscious whenever he ate in fine dining establishments. He felt out of his element and was wondering if what fork he used was wrong, if he behaved in a less than civil manner, etc. Whenever he felt this constraint on his personality, he would say to himself, “I’m going to eat with Ma and Pa.” By doing that, he was alleviated about that social situation and also many others. He eventually became immune to the thoughts of strangers and strange situations. Similarly, when we are so fearful of what someone else thinks of us, we cannot act freely and are restricted. When our conscious thought is restricted, so follows our unconscious servo-mechanism. Our creative mechanism is stifled and so is our potential to do anything great.
Jennifer Capriati, once a 14-year-old tennis wunderkind, between 1990 to 1993 reached three Grand Slam semifinals and captured the 1992 Olympic gold medal in Barcelona. But then her career took a nose dive. She left the tour for 2 years and in 1994 was arrested for possession of drugs and for shoplifting. Capriati traced her disillusionment to when she lost the Grand Slam semifinal to Monica Seles. When she made her comeback, a journalist reported, “There seems to be two key reasons for Capriati’s renaissance — concluding it didn’t matter what people believed about her and learning to stop believing bad things about herself.” In 2001, she beat Martina Hingis in the Australian Open finals and then defended her championship the next year as well as winning the 2001 French Open. She has racked up 14 singles titles and 1 doubles title during her career.
Capriati’s comeback was based on finally forgetting whatever anyone else thought of her as well as what she thought of herself and just doing the job. When our self image is finally liberated from the confines of how we fear other people will see us or how we will see ourselves, we can unleash a powerful new self image that in turn promotes a healthy and free unconscious servo-mechanism. Our true personality can shine and we can be free.