Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 19 of 20: Living Without Enemies
April 23, 2009 by dr. lam · 4 Comments
The 69th Verse:
There is a saying among soldiers:
I dare not make the first move
but would rather play the guest;
I dare not advance an inch
but would rather withdraw a foot.
This is called
going forward without advancing,
pushing back without using weapons.
There is no greater misfortune
than feeling “I have an enemy”;
for when “I” and “enemy” exist together,
there is no room left for my treasure.
Thus, when two opponents meet,
the one without an enemy
will surely triumph.
When armies are evenly matched,
the one with compassion wins.
Remember that when we talked a few weeks ago that when we hurt others, we essentially hurt ourselves. When we help others, we will in turn help ourselves. As Lao-Tzu states “for when “I” and “enemy” exist together, there is no room left for my treasure.” Our treasure is our peace of mind and connection with the Tao. When we perceive enemies all around us, we cannot live in a peaceful state. We are constantly embattled, embroiled, and emblazoned with this combative atmosphere. Once we let go of the idea that we have ANY enemies, we can seek our victory over our “enemies” by achieving a deep-seated peace.
Give up the concept that we have enemies in front of us, whether personal or professional. Give up the need to constantly fight with another. Just work on yourself for personal/professional growth. We need not concern ourselves with the enemy or perceive that individual as such. Dyer talks about in athletic competition, we should look at our opponent as a facilitator for our own way to achieve victory. We can look at the other person as a vehicle for that gain if and only if that person is performing at his or her best. It can bring us to new heights. When we stop looking at the other side of the net, so to speak, as an adversary but instead as a colleague to drive us forward, then we can experience true peace and true victory. Let all your ideas of an external enemy fall away. See all those around you as emanating from the same original source of the universe. Let go of judgment, hatred, and antagonism.
Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 8 of 20: Living Calmly
April 8, 2009 by dr. lam · 13 Comments
The 26th Verse:
The heavy is the root of the light.
The still is the master of unrest.
Realizing this,
the successful person is
poised and centered
in the midst of all activities;
although surrounded by opulence,
he is not swayed.
Why should the lord of the country
flit about like a fool?
If you let yourself be blown to and fro,
you lose touch with your root.
To be restless is to lose one’s self-mastery.
During times of economic changes or personal crises, it is easy to lose oneself in the environmental sway. We are not rooted inwardly but drawn outwardly by external circumstances. “The heavy is the root of the light” as the verse opens. Our own stalwart resilience is rooted in a heavy set calmness that is the foundation for the light that emanates from us. We must stay in a calm that is undisturbed from all external forces. Obviously, this is not an easy one, and it certainly is not an easy one for me. I am constantly at work to calm myself. I find that during the day when there are 3 businesses that I am running outside of just doing surgery and seeing patients we can be lost in a maelstrom of activity and be buffeted by the winds around us. I truly work on the “power of now” as we have discussed to root me back into a calmness.
In fact, my calmness is what creates a dominant rhythm for everyone around me. My staff and my patients feel calmer around me because I am calm. They feel nervous if I feel nervous. In the book, It’s Your Ship, Michael Abrashoff says that if he is having a bad day, he gets out of the way. I think that is important because the captain sets the mood for the entire team. However, what Lao-Tzu is contemplating is that we are always suffused with calmness no matter what external circumstances are around us.
I have had 3 rather nervous patients in the past couple of months before a procedure, and I worked with them on a visualization exercise and verbal calming. I had them picture where in the world they would want to be. Unbelievably, all three of them chose the Maldives, a place that I have never been. I was able to take them there and bring them into alignment with my peace through visualization, voice, and my hands on them. (I actually shot a visualization exercise to help my post-op patients but really for anyone who is interested in calming themselves.) I try to help my patients who come to me nervous about life or about other things to leave me in a calmer and happier state.
Today go out and see if you can remain calm in the face of all circumstances no matter what life presents to you, and see if you can impart that level of calmness to everyone that comes into close proximity of you. What I talked about a few weeks ago about “high energy” states from the Power of Intention involved getting people to a very high sense of calmness that naturally radiates to all of those who are around them. Today do the Tao and enter a calm state and help those around you see your calmness so that they themselves can be calmed by your presence.
Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 5 of 20: Living with Constancy
April 3, 2009 by dr. lam · 16 Comments
The 16th Verse:
Become totally empty.
Let your heart be at peace.
Amidst the rush of worldly comings and goings,
observe how endings become beginnings.
Things flourish, each by each,
only return to the Source…
to what is and what is to be.
To return to the root is to find peace.
To find peace is to fulfill one’s destiny.
To fulfill one’s destiny is to be constant.
To know the constant is called insight.
Not knowing this cycle
leads to eternal disaster.
Knowing the constant gives perspective.
This perspective is impartial.
Impartiality is the highest nobility;
the highest nobility is Divine.
Being Divine, you will be at one with the Tao.
Being at one with the Tao is eternal.
This way is everlasting,
not endangered by physical death.
I like several thoughts in this verse. First, I like the idea that change is the constant. When we see change in our life as a natural part of life, then we do not need to react to that change with an abrupt emotional discord. Instead, we accept it and allow it to be since change is part of life.
The second idea that I am fascinated with is that “Amidst the rush of worldly comings and goings, observe how endings become beginnings.” Too often we are so troubled about the ending of a relationship, the ending of a business associate, the ending of a job that we can’t see that ending as an opportunity for a new beginning that can radically shape us and bring greater self awareness and fulfillment.
Today, go out and don’t be sad about a past problem or the ending of something that you thought was amazing but see it as a way toward a new beginning for yourself. If you are closed to seeing the new beginning, you won’t. Be open and receptive to all the things around you and you might just see how positive a closing door might be since it usually leads to another open one that will probably be better and more suited for you.
Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 4 of 20: Living an Unhurried Life
April 2, 2009 by dr. lam · 10 Comments
The 15th Verse:
The ancient masters were profound and subtle.
Their wisdom was unfathomable.
There is no way to describe it.
One can only describe them vaguely by their appearance.
Watchful, like men crossing a winter stream.
Alert, like men aware of danger.
Simple as uncarved wood.
Hollow like caves.
Yielding, like ice about to melt.
Amorphous, like muddy water.
But the muddied water clears
as it is stilled.
And out of that stillness
life arises.
He who keeps the Tao does not want to be full.
But precisely because he is never full,
he can remain like a hidden sprout
and does not rush to early ripening.
I chose to review this verse because I believe it encapsulates many of the teachings that we have explored over these many months together. In particular, Tolle’s The Power of Now is fully at play here. I am reminded that when I am with a patient, I am fully engaged. I do not think about the next patient but about the person in front of me whether I am in surgery or in consultation or in a postop setting. I really ultimately love people, and I live in the here and now.
When I am done with my day and go home, I sometimes let too many thoughts encircle me. What am I doing tomorrow? What things should I do to promote my business? How are my staff doing? What blog should I write for next week? Obviously, what the Tao is focused on is two things at one time: stillness and awareness. It is living The Power of Now.
It is a focus on being like “the hollow of the cave” or an “uncarved wood” that are in a state of active readiness to be fulfilled. Many times we try to force our destiny upon us and work too hard to get what we want instead of letting it come to us. Remember that we can dream and dream big and work toward that dream. But when we focus so much on that dream that it causes us to act and react, question ourselves, create anxiety and fear, then we are not allowing the dream to come to us but we are blindly and maniacally chasing that dream. Sometimes if we keep quiet and remain still, we can attain a deeper focus and many things will come to us without even forcing it. Today try to remain at peace and calm and not stare at the future with uncertainty and fear but look quietly within for inner strength, conviction, and joy. Take 10 minutes in quiet meditation and listen and feel the world immediately around you.