Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 14 of 20: Living as If Your LIfe Makes a Difference
April 16, 2009 by dr. lam · 6 Comments
The 54th Verse:
Whoever is planted in the Tao
will not be rooted up.
Whoever embraces the Tao
will not slip away.
Generations honor generations endlessly.
Cultivated in the self, virtue is realized;
cultivated in the family, virtue overflows;
cultivated in the community, virtue increases;
cultivated in the state, virtue abounds.
The Tao is everywhere;
it has become everything.
To truly see it, see it as it is.
In a person, see it as a person;
in a family, see it as a family;
in a country, see it as a country;
in a world, see it as a world.
How do I know this is true?
By looking inside myself
We oftentimes think that we are an insignificant piece to the universe. That our actions have no radiating effect on those around us. But we are part of the fabric of the universe, and our words, thoughts, and actions can either have a dramatically positive effect on those around us or be an agent for destruction for everyone that should come into our proximity. Knowing and acknowledging our infinite nature rather than any tangible finite qualities allows us to tap into that universal spirit and energy. These blogs are a way for me to touch hundreds if not thousands of people across the universe. Your responses how ever trivial you may imagine them to be (which they are definitely not) are a way for you to make a magnanimous gesture of creating ripples of positive energy to that same audience.
Martin Luther King changed the world. Gandhi changed the world. Churchill changed the world. But so did Hitler, Stalin, and Genghis Khan. If we look at ourselves as a finite mass of flesh, we will never be able to surmount that constricted Weltanschauung. Dyer quotes the anthropologist Margaret Mead as saying, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.”
We are capable of making change and making that change for one person at a time. We are capable of making a difference. When I go to work, each person and each patient that I encounter I look at as an opportunity to be a change agent for good in their life. I look at the chance to make a positive impact, to heal, to lift up, to bring peace, to bring love, and to bring a beautiful, shining light. If we start to tap into our universal energy, we will then be able to be a change agent for good because we will live every moment of our life doing so. Today go out and radiate all those good things and make a difference in all those who are fortunate to come into contact with you.
Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 13 of 20: Living Beyond Judgment
April 15, 2009 by dr. lam · 11 Comments
The 49th Verse:
The sage has no fixed mind;
he is aware of the needs of others.
Those who are good he treats with goodness.
Those who are bad he also treats with goodness
because the nature of his being is good.
He is kind to the kind.
He is also kind to the unkind
because the nature of his being is kindness.
He is faithful to the faithful;
he is also faithful to the unfaithful.
The sage lives in harmony with all below heaven.
He sees everything as his own self;
he loves everyone as his own child.
All people are drawn to him.
He behaves like a little child.
This is one of my favorite verses. We are oftentimes programmed to react to others’ unkindness by returning the favor. We will love those who love us. But how do we respond to those who hate us? What happens in an argument or a conflict? Do we have to be right all the time? Do we judge others by names like “lazy, dishonest, stupid, foolish”? We live our lives too often in a reactionary mode to others’ thoughts and then try to defend ourselves by our own superlative ego. We look down on others around us because they do not conform to our own moral code.
Now how do you treat yourself? Do you also judge yourself by thinking, “Boy, I am a really bad person for doing this thing”? Or how about when you do something good, do you think: ”I am truly a holy person today for what I have done”? We oftentimes not only judge others but we append those same appellations of judgment upon ourselves so that we must be labeled. We should just be and not try to make sense of every small action we take. We do not need to fit into a self-righteous position nor do we need to fit into a self-abusive one.
Today take away your need to judge and only observe neutrally. That does not just mean for all of your acquaintances today but also of your own actions. Take the moral rigor that you impose on others and also on yourself away. Start to live with love and kindness toward yourself and others. Return unkindness with kindness. That also means how you treat yourself. Don’t beat yourself up but also don’t pat yourself on the back for being so great. Just be. Let go of all judgment to others and to yourself.
Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 12 of 20: Living by Knowing When to Stop
April 14, 2009 by dr. lam · 17 Comments
The 44th Verse:
Which means more to you,
you or your renown?
Which brings more to you,
you or what you own?
I say what you gain
is more trouble than what you lose.
Love is the fruit of sacrifice.
Wealth is the fruit of generosity.
A contented man is never disappointed.
He who knows when to stop is preserved from peril,
only thus can you endure long.
This verse is so dead-on right. Although I like nice things in life, I have worked more and mor not to think of such trivialities. What is the next thing I must have? Hopefully nothing. I think when we live our life solely or principally in pursuit of material things, we will never be satisfied. We are living in a condition of wanting, which as you know means desire but also the absence of having. By being satisfied, we no longer want or desire and feel contented.
The more material possessions we own, the more we begin to worry about losing them. I have certainly been a victim of this thinking and now am trying to just be simply happy and not worry about any need for material gain. Are you living your life simply in the pursuit of wanting more things? I like Bud Fox’s quote from 1987’s movie Wall Street: ”How many boats to water-ski behind do you need? When is it enough?” Do you spend most of your day talking about what you can buy or what you need more of? Do you think incessantly about what you can buy? Today, look at what you don’t need and what you are happy with.
Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 11 of 20: Living Softly
April 13, 2009 by dr. lam · 13 Comments
The 43rd Verse:
The softest of all things
overrides the hardest of all things.
That without substance enters where there is no space.
Hence I know the value of nonaction.
Teaching without words,
performing without actions –
few in the world can grasp it –
that is the master’s way.
Rare indeed are those
who obtain the bounty of this world.
Lao-Tzu’s writing takes a lot from nature, and in the first stanza he is elliptically referring to the way that water moves. Water is the softest of all things and effortlessly flows forward. Too often we are always in a determined hurry to push ourselves through force of determined will to advance. However, if we are like water, we flow forward effortlessly.
Many runners talk about the ability to improve their running by letting the mind’s interference go. When the mind tells the runners they must do this or they can’t possibly do that, there is an imminent failure. However, when the runner starts to work in an effortless plane and make the mind soft, they can propel themselves more easily to the finish line without even knowing it.
When we meet resistance in life, we force our ways through the resistance with a hardness of character. We might just find that by not trying too hard, we can succeed much more. Sometimes the beauty is in the nonaction and in the peace of silence. I myself am guilty of the need to always do and not let things go and just be. If we are encountering a difficult situation in which we are trying to cram a square peg into a round hole, perhaps we need to be soft like water and allow rather than force. We may more easily pass around the obstacle and flow forward rather than abruptly force ourselves in a way that hurts us, hurts others, and may lead to ultimate failure.
Change Your Thoughts-Change Your Life Part 7 of 20: Living without Excess
April 7, 2009 by dr. lam · 4 Comments
The 24th Verse:
If you stand on tiptoe, you cannot stand firmly.
If you take long steps, you cannot walk far.
Showing off does not reveal enlightenment.
Boasting will not produce accomplishment.
He who is self-righteous is not respected.
He who brags will not endure.
All these ways of acting are odious, distasteful.
They are superfluous excesses.
They are like a pain in the stomach,
a tumor in the body.
When walking the path of the Tao,
this is the very stuff that must be
uprooted, thrown out, and left behind.
Too often we live with too much pride and arrogance. We must feel that we are superior over others and live life with selfish disregard for all those around us. Do you live most of your day only looking at yourself? Are you overly focused on your own successes, trophies, goals, and gains? Have you thanked someone around you recently for being who they are in your life and contributing to this world?
Many of the books that I read must invariably decry plastic surgery as an excess. Obviously, I work with this paradox in which I talk about internal self-actualization and also disregard to ego. Perhaps that is ultimately a Tao principle of holding a paradox in your mind. However, I simply do not see it as a paradox. As I have repeatedly stated, plastic surgery done correctly and with correct moderation and perspective can change one’s life in a profound and tangible way. However, when we seek plastic surgery to fulfill an internal want that is absent then we are in trouble. I look at plastic surgery as a method for providing congruity between what we see in the mirror as what we feel in our heart. But when body dysmorphic disorder or overly obsessing over a body part leads to social crippling then we have crossed that fine line.
It is important that when we attain our own enlightenment that acquisition and acquisition and acquisition of material goods and status not be the motivating factor or dominating factor in our life. These blogs are meant to put you into a peaceful sense of gratitude for where you are and not where you need to be. Being a man of ambition almost my entire life, it has been a profound shift in my own paradigm not constantly to want and desire and be insatiable in my appetite for wanting more. Today I truly cherish where I am and what I have and am not in a desirous mood for this or that, certainly not as much as I did in the past.
Today it would be great if you could offer your gratitude (yes, a fourth blog indirectly on this important subject today) for where you are but even as importantly offer that gratitude for someone near you for who they are and how special they are to you. Offer that gratitude to someone you know or even you don’t know that well today.