Monday Meditations Part 4: Walking Meditation
May 18, 2009 by dr. lam · 5 Comments
Many of us Type A/high-strung individuals cannot meditate sitting still. Our bodies become agitated and our minds begin to wander easily. We need movement and stimulation to keep us centered. This exercise allows our bodies to flow so that our mind can remain centered. We permit our mind to focus on the activity of walking so that we have a grounding and a focus for our thoughts.
Start with either bare feet or stockinged/socked feet so that you can feel the ground under you. Plan a path where you will be walking either in nature or indoors. Even if the path is relatively short, you can traverse this distance and redouble on your tracks without a problem. Just plan your path out in advance so that you don’t need to worry about where you will be going.
As you begin the exercise, remember to start with the fundamental of your breath. Focus on the rhythm of your breathing and allowing yourself to breathe more quickly or more slowly depending on your body’s needs. As you breathe, enjoy the rich breath that is giving you nourishment and life. Then start to focus on your legs and toes as you walk over the terrain and enjoy the feeling of the ground under your feet and the related sensations. As you walk, enjoy the feeling of walking. If your mind wanders, bring it back to the focus of walking and the feeling of the air against your face if you are outside and the sounds around you or if you are inside just stay centered on your breathing and walking. As you conclude the exercise, return your thoughts back to your breathing and finish with your breath meditation.
Here is a video guide to help you with this meditation. Namaste.
Leadership Gold Part 2 of 10: Leading Yourself
February 17, 2009 by dr. lam · 8 Comments
Most oftentimes a leader is focused on leading other people without truly realizing that the most important person to lead and also the most difficult is himself or herself. The reason that I write these blogs is as an exercise to get myself better as a leader. They are life lessons for me first. If I cannot lead myself, I will have no followers following me.
Most oftentimes, we do not work at self-improvement but look at everyone around us as needing work. Maxwell says that when we criticize someone else, that is called constructive criticism. However, when someone criticizes us we call that destructive criticism. I am certainly not perfect at taking criticism, but I am a lot better today than I was even last year and last year I was better than the year prior. Remember from the 4 agreements, “never to take anything personally”. That is very important in this case. Too often when we judge others, we judge them by THEIR actions, whereas when we judge ourselves we judge ourselves by our intentions. This two-tier system of criticism leads us to failure because we never meant anything by what we did or so we rationalize, but that person certainly should have known better. We must strive to create a harmonious congruity by how we perceive ourselves and others.
Maxwell, a former preacher, still says that he ultimately does not trust himself to lead himself. That is why he has established external accountability for his actions. That is why I wrote about accountability a couple of weeks ago and why I emphasized how I am accountable to other business leaders/owners in my EO forum group. How have you made yourself accountable? To whom? What interval?
We as leaders (and that means all of you too!) must hold ourselves to a higher level of accountability. Linda, who is my spa director, asked me last year why I have apologized to my staff for seemingly small infractions, and I explained that as a leader I hold myself to a higher level of accountability of who I am and who I should aim to be. There is no other person that can truly hold you to that level of accountability than yourself.
When we first lead ourselves, we can then have a chance at leading others around us. I have learned a lot about real-life leadership this past year and have worked even more diligently at becoming a more centered leader. By virtue of that, my patients and my staff and everyone around me has benefited. I must start with myself. You must start with yourself. We must start with ourselves. I look at my readership as part of my extended team at LFP because I would love for all of us to grow as humans in our common fraternity.
Story of the Week!
December 26, 2008 by dr. lam · Leave a Comment
I don’t think I’ll have a new patient story for you every week, but this one really touched me a lot. I had a patient who was looking for lip enhancement and had called around town. After Marcy worked her phone magic that she does so well, she really believed that I was the best suited to help her out (which I not so humbly believe to be true). She enjoyed most of the day at my spa then came over to my office for some fillers. I explained to her that fillers could also be used in the face, and I discussed with her the merits of Botox for long-term wrinkle reduction. She decided to do the fillers for facial rejuvenation, lip enhancement, and Botox.
I always see my patients back a week later to make sure that they are doing okay and to show them their before and after photographs. When I was taking her photos in the photo room, she said, “Dr. Lam, I know you don’t know this about me, but my daughter suffered anaphylactic shock when she was 15 years old and died in front of me. I got very close to my second daughter, my only other child, but who was then killed with my sister in a car accident 2 years later.” She then said, “Dr. Lam, you have given me my face back as it was before all this happened to me. You have erased 15 years of grief from my face.”
I can tell you it was hard to hold back my tears when I heard that. I told that story to all my staff. Even something “small” like Restylane can have a profound impact on people’s lives. I always say to my staff we are not in the business of plastic surgery but in the business of “taking care of people and transforming lives”. I can think of no better incidence than this one. I am so proud of performing such a small thing that had such wonderfully unintended benefits. I always remember that every person that I treat is special no matter what the motivations they have or the treatments that I perform. You never know when a small thing can mean a lot to the other person you were so blessed to encounter. Wishing all of you a special holiday season, and I hope this story touched you as much as it did me and my staff!
Life in Perspective Part 3 of 4: Your Future
November 26, 2008 by dr. lam · 1 Comment
We talked yesterday about life being a journey and how to savor our present time. However, if life is a journey, where are we going? Some people who relish the present so much in a hedonistic fashion do not prepare for the future or have no idea where they are going. I think part of being on a journey is knowing what should be our life’s destination. Are we moving along a path toward a goal or just going in circles? Sometimes we try too hard to know our future, which is unknowable but I like the saying, “Chance favors the prepared mind.” If you are lackadaisically living entirely within the confines of the moment, you may not have a future that can sustain your present lifestyle.
Also, meaning in our life is defined by having a sense of purpose. We will talk about this more tomorrow. However, in short, we actually derive pleasure in life to know that what we are doing on a daily basis is meritorious and beneficial for others. I think even the most hedonistic, self-centered person can feel a sense of joy in having a defined purpose in life. It can also help us limit our present fears and vicissitudes in our emotions when we know firmly where we are going in life. What are your 5-year plans? What are your 10-year plans? What are your 20-year plans? Do you have them? I do.
Once you define your goals you should then divide them into your BHAG (big hairy audacious goal) — to steal a term from Jim Collins — and your smaller goals. These goals should fit within your vision of what you want to be. (See last week’s blogs to understand what I mean by vision.) Your BHAG is your dream, perhaps unattainable, perhaps unrealistic but who cares. My BHAG is to be a household name across the U.S. and the world in facial plastic surgery. My steps to get there are to continue video production to disseminate my knowledge as an immediate goal; continue to improve my website as a twin goal; write a major laypress book published by a major publishing house to define a new paradigm and aesthetic; and become a speaker in the lay circles (not just academia) in major venues in the coming 5 years. Those goals are my 5-year goals. MY BHAG is my 10-year goal. My 20-year goal is to attain another BHAG regarding expanding my concept of wellness and establishing a model for other surgeons, health-care professionals, and individuals related to the industry to follow. I think wellness is the future of health care in America and for most of the developed world out there. My passion is to see that what I have defined for the Willow Bend Wellness Center can be a replicable model, where we lead the industry by business acumen and vision.
If you laugh at my BHAGs, that is fine with me. I don’t. Discover your BHAGs but don’t live entirely for them. You must define small steps for you to attain your BHAGs, things that are attainable in the short term, measurable steps that are discernible through fixed metrics and time points. Be flexible to open yourself to new BHAGs or replace ones that simply don’t mean much to you anymore but don’t throw a BHAG away simply because you don’t think you will attain it.
Many times a BHAG is defined by money. I would say if you are a company, that may be okay. But I would argue that monetary goals should be short term metrics to attain a BHAG but not a BHAG. A BHAG should be a larger, all-encompassing vision that you as an individual or your company can follow, be inspired by, be motivated by, and live for. I always help those around me who are struggling with their BHAGs to define them by anything but money. I like to say, “Follow your passion and money will come. Follow money, and money will go.”
The core of any individual or business should be a burning passion. I recently had a fireplace with the glass shards (instead of the wood) made by an expert in these kinds of fireplaces. I asked the woman, Nadine, who designed the glass why do you do what you do. Her eyes lit up brighter than the fireplace and she said, “I’m 46 now and the vision came to me at 17 in a dream. I somehow knew that is what I needed to do.” She did not have to tell me that because when the fireplace was lit, I could see this broad beaming smile like a child captivated by her creation. It is the same smile that I have when I see my work.
CPR Revisited: Hands Only, AED, Etc.
November 20, 2008 by dr. lam · Leave a Comment
I had to take my ACLS (Advanced Cardiac Life Support) renewal this past weekend, as a requirement for maintaining my surgery center’s credentialing. I have always been bored out of my skull during these courses but not this time. Robert Twite, RN, brilliantly created a session that allowed me to sense his passion and his “why” (see Tuesday’s blog). His mission in life was to help others truly save others’ lives. I assume his vision for myself and as part of his crusade (see Wednesday’s blog), I posted a video on how to do good CPR and why to do it. My teaching skills for CPR pale in comparison to his so forgive me Robert for my feeble attempt but I need to get this message out to my readers and followers of this website.
What I found very interesting were a few things. First, he mentioned the idea of “hands only CPR” that has come into vogue recently was very very intriguing. He argued that many advocates have shown that just doing chest compressions without mouth-to-mouth can have very similar or same outcomes in survival. There are a few reasons for this. First, the air that is recycled from your lungs and breathed into the individual is filled with CO2. Second, if you breathe too often and too much (which is the natural tendency to do), you can make chest compressions less viable owing to a rise in pressure inside the chest wall. Rapid, early, and hard chest compressions can save a life.
Second, he talked about how we believe in the past that we better check a pulse before starting CPR. Well, yes, that is not a bad idea but not at the expense of starting early CPR. What he argued is that without chest compressions in someone who does not have a pulse will lead to a quick death. If you perform chest compressions in someone who has a pulse, the only negative outcome is a sore chest. Even if you find a weak pulse, additional CPR can oftentimes supplement the cardiac output of blood and lead to a better outcome. He offered the example that in children who even have a pulse but a slow one like at 60 beats per minute (that is slow for a child), the advice is to actually do CPR to improve blood flow. So if you check a pulse, then I check a pulse, and we both don’t know if there is a pulse, we are wasting precious time for no reason. Forget all that and start high quality CPR. Crappy chest compressions do nothing. High quality chest compressions only offer 25 to 30% of a normal amount of blood to flow out of the heart. Also, remember that you must lift off the chest, i.e., let the chest completely recoil back to an inflated position because you need the blood to return to the heart as well.
Finally, if your business does not have an AED (automatic extrenal defibrillator), you need to get one. Early shocks from this device will lead to a life saved. Without one, even chest compressions might not be enough. These devices will actually guide you when to shock and when not to. Basically today, the goal is 2 minutes of sustained high quality CPR with chest compression to breaths of 30:2 followed by the AED announcing when 2 minutes are up to determine if you need to be shocked or not. Even after a shock or not shock, continue CPR until told to stop. The AED however should interrupt CPR at the earliest time possible since the earlier you get an AED on someone the higher chance of survival for that person in many cases if the rhythm is shockable like ventricular fibrillation, which is a common cause of cardiac arrest.
This blog is not intended to replace formal basic life support training but to encourage you to get certified. In the meantime, if you haven’t yet and the occasion arises where you need to save a life remember early and hard chest compressions with recoil time and get an AED fast and furiously then continue until help arrives. Don’t err on the side of checking pulses, checking pulses, then looking at each other. Most likely CPR and an AED will save a life more than whatever the ambulance or physician can do. Outcome studies have shown that only 2 things matter for survival: good quality and early CPR and an AED early, not fancy drugs or airways. Two things in conclusion: get CPR certified and make sure that your workplace has an AED on site. Thanks Robert for the brilliant education. I hope I can spread your message out there to all who can hear.